We’ve all met that one person who just doesn’t quite get it when it comes to social interactions. You know the type: they say things that make you cringe, laugh nervously, or desperately search for the nearest exit.
The truth is Poor social skills often show up in the words people use. Certain phrases can make conversations awkward, shut people down, or even make them want to avoid you altogether.
And let’s be real—I’ve probably been guilty of dropping one or two of these lines myself (haven’t we all?). So let’s break down 10 phrases people with poor social skills often use and why they send the wrong message. Ready? Let’s jump in.
1) You know what I mean?
Oh, the classic filler. People throw this out when they can’t explain themselves clearly. But here’s the catch: if you have to constantly ask, “You know what I mean?”—chances are, no, people don’t.
Instead of clarifying, it actually makes you sound unsure or like you expect everyone else to do the heavy lifting in the conversation. Ever been stuck nodding along to someone who keeps saying this? Yeah, it’s exhausting.
Better move: Just finish your thought with confidence. If they don’t get it, they’ll ask. Trust me, nobody’s giving out awards for saying “you know what I mean?” 15 times in one coffee chat.
2) I’m not a people person
Translation: “I don’t want to try.” Saying this might feel like you’re being “real,” but honestly, it comes across as dismissive. Everyone struggles socially at some point. But dropping “I’m not a people person” is like hanging a neon sign over your head that screams I’m not even going to try connecting with you.
And here’s the thing: people aren’t looking for you to be the life of the party. They just want a little effort. Saying this phrase basically kills the conversation before it even starts.
IMO, if you’re not into crowds, just say, “I prefer smaller groups” or “I’m more of a one-on-one type.” That way you sound authentic, not anti-human. 🙂
3) Whatever
If phrases could roll their eyes, this one would. “Whatever” signals that you’ve checked out of the conversation. Worse, it can make people feel like you don’t value their opinion.
Ever argued with someone and they end it with “whatever”? Instant rage button, right? It doesn’t resolve the disagreement—it just slams the door shut and leaves the other person stewing.
Pro tip: Replace it with something like, “Let’s agree to disagree” or “I see it differently.” It’s still an exit, but at least it’s polite.
4) That’s crazy
This one sounds harmless at first. People use “that’s crazy” as a quick reaction to a story. But here’s the issue: it’s a dead-end phrase. It doesn’t invite conversation.
Let’s say your friend shares something meaningful, like “I just quit my job to start my own business.” If you reply with “That’s crazy”, you’re basically saying, “I don’t know what else to say, so here’s a placeholder.”
Better approach: Follow it up with a question. “That’s crazy—what made you decide to quit?” Suddenly, you’ve turned a flat response into genuine curiosity.
5) I don’t care
If you want to shut down human connection in record time, say “I don’t care.” Even if you really don’t, phrasing it like that sounds cold and dismissive.
Imagine asking a friend, “Where do you want to eat?” and they shoot back with “I don’t care.” It feels like they’re saying, “Your question is pointless.” Not fun.
Instead, give some input—even if it’s small. Try, “I’m good with anything, but sushi sounds nice” or “I don’t mind, maybe you pick this time?” That way you’re contributing instead of checking out.
6) It’s not my fault
Nothing screams poor social skills like dodging responsibility. Saying “It’s not my fault” makes you sound defensive and unwilling to own your part in a situation. And spoiler alert: most conflicts are rarely 100% one person’s fault.
We’ve all worked with “that” coworker who blames everyone else when something goes wrong. Do people respect them? Nope. They just avoid working with them.
Better move: Try “Here’s what I could have done differently” or “Let’s figure out how to fix it.” It shows accountability and keeps relationships intact.
7) Why does this always happen to me?
This phrase is basically a one-way ticket to victim mode. Sure, bad stuff happens. But if you constantly say, “Why does this always happen to me?” you sound like you’re stuck in a loop of self-pity.
Honestly? People get tired of comforting someone who refuses to take action. It’s emotionally draining.
Want to stand out instead? Shift the script. Try asking, “What can I do differently next time?” That moves you from helpless to proactive. Big difference.
8) I’m just being honest
Ah yes, the universal excuse for saying something mean. Spoiler: if you need to follow up with “I’m just being honest,” you probably weren’t being constructive—you were being rude.
People with poor social skills often confuse honesty with bluntness. But there’s a fine line between “I think this approach might not work” and “That idea is stupid.” Guess which one gets you invited back to conversations?
Pro tip: Deliver honesty with tact. Instead of using the “just being honest” crutch, try phrasing it as, “Can I share my perspective?” That way, people know you’re contributing—not attacking.
9) I hate…
Starting sentences with “I hate” instantly sets a negative tone. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about traffic, pineapple pizza, or Mondays. Constant negativity makes people not want to be around you.
Of course, everyone hates stuff—it’s normal. But saying “I hate” on repeat can make you seem bitter. And let’s be real, nobody likes hanging out with a cloud of doom.
Instead: Flip it. Say “I prefer” or “I’d rather.” Example: “I’d rather watch a comedy than a horror movie.” You’re still sharing your opinion, but without the bad vibes.
10) No offense, but…
If a sentence starts with “No offense, but…” you already know offense is coming. It’s like saying, “Don’t look down,” right before someone inevitably looks down.
This phrase screams poor self-awareness. It signals that you know what you’re about to say is hurtful, but you want to dodge responsibility. Not a good look.
Instead of this cop-out: Just reframe your point politely. For example, replace “No offense, but you look tired” with “Long day? You look like you’ve been busy.” Same observation, way less rude.
Conclusion
So there you have it—10 phrases that instantly highlight poor social skills. Most of them come from laziness, defensiveness, or just not realizing how our words land. The good news? They’re all easy to swap out.
At the end of the day, improving social skills isn’t about becoming a smooth-talking extrovert. It’s about showing awareness, empathy, and a little effort in conversation. Ever notice how people light up when you actually listen and respond thoughtfully? That’s the magic.
So next time you catch yourself about to say “Whatever” or “I don’t care,” stop and ask: “Is there a better way to put this?” Chances are, yes. And trust me, your conversations (and relationships) will thank you.