Most people don’t set out to be awkward.
But social skills, like anything else, take practice. And the truth is, some folks never quite pick them up—either because they never had good models growing up, or because they’ve spent most of their life feeling like an outsider looking in.
You can usually spot it—not because they’re mean, or rude, or unfriendly—but because something just feels “off” when they talk. The tone doesn’t match the words. The timing is weird. The phrasing lands funny.
And it’s not always easy to put your finger on why.
But over time, I’ve noticed certain phrases that tend to come up again and again with people who haven’t quite found their footing socially. They’re not deal-breakers. They’re just… telling.
If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “What just happened?”—or if you suspect you might be putting people off without meaning to—these phrases might shed some light.
1. “I’m just being honest”
This one usually comes right after something that wasn’t necessary to say.
“I’m just being honest—those jeans make you look bigger.”
“I’m just being honest—I don’t think your idea is very good.”
Here’s the thing: honesty isn’t the problem. It’s how it’s delivered. And people with poor social skills often confuse bluntness with authenticity.
The most socially skilled people know when to hold back, when to soften, and when silence speaks louder than truth.
2. “Why are you so sensitive?”
This phrase often comes up after someone’s been hurt or made uncomfortable—and instead of owning the impact, the speaker shifts blame.
It’s a classic deflection. And it signals a lack of emotional awareness.
Empathy doesn’t mean you always agree—it means you acknowledge that others feel differently, and you make space for it. Dismissing their reaction only creates distance.
3. “I don’t care what people think”
Now, in the right context, this can be a healthy mindset. But when it’s said repeatedly, and with a defensive edge, it often reveals the opposite.
People who really don’t care what others think don’t feel the need to announce it.
But those who struggle socially often use this phrase to justify behavior that rubs people the wrong way—interrupting, oversharing, or being dismissive—and then wonder why others pull away.
4. “You took that the wrong way”
This one tends to follow a moment where someone clearly misstepped.
Instead of apologizing or clarifying, they place the misunderstanding squarely on the other person’s shoulders.
I remember a guy I worked with years ago—he made an off-color joke during a meeting, and when someone spoke up, he said, “Geez, you took that the wrong way.”
No ownership. No reflection. Just a social blind spot wrapped in a weak defense.
People with strong social skills know how to check themselves when their words land poorly. People without them often double down.
5. “That’s stupid” (or “That’s dumb”)
Some folks think this is just being opinionated—but in reality, it’s lazy communication.
When you dismiss an idea or feeling with “that’s stupid,” you shut down conversation. You don’t explain why. You don’t offer another perspective. You just label it and walk away.
It’s the conversational equivalent of slamming a door instead of turning the handle.
And over time, it wears people out.
6. “Whatever”
I once had a teenager on my street—nice enough kid, but every conversation ended with “whatever.”
Didn’t matter what was said. It was his go-to phrase. It became his shield.
Now, in teenagers, it’s common. But plenty of adults still use it too—and when they do, it sends a clear message: “I’m not interested in resolving this. I’m not invested in what you’re saying.”
“Whatever” is a shutdown phrase. And people who use it often, especially when things get slightly uncomfortable, usually struggle to hold emotional space for others.
7. “No offense, but…”
Nine times out of ten, something offensive is about to follow.
“No offense, but you talk too much.”
“No offense, but your house smells weird.”
If you have to preface something that way, you already know it might hurt.
People with poor social awareness often think the phrase is a free pass—that it softens the blow. But in reality, it makes things worse. It signals that you knew better—and said it anyway.
8. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but…”
But they interrupt anyway.
Some folks have a habit of jumping in mid-sentence, even while claiming not to. It’s not always intentional. Often it’s anxiety, or poor impulse control, or excitement that wasn’t tempered by awareness.
But when done repeatedly, it signals a lack of respect for the flow of conversation—and for the speaker.
Good conversationalists wait. They listen. They hold the moment open. They don’t bulldoze it with “I don’t mean to interrupt,” followed by immediate interruption.
9. “This is just how I am”
This one often comes when someone’s been confronted about an off-putting habit.
Instead of reflecting or trying to grow, they use this phrase as a brick wall.
“I’m blunt. This is just how I am.”
“I speak my mind. That’s how I’ve always been.”
It might sound like confidence. But really, it’s avoidance.
Growth isn’t about changing who you are—it’s about becoming more aware of how you affect others.
10. “You wouldn’t understand”
I once sat next to a man at a community event—friendly enough, until I asked about a topic he clearly knew something about.
He shrugged and said, “You wouldn’t understand,” and changed the subject.
He didn’t say it with cruelty—but with dismissal. As if connecting wasn’t worth the effort.
People with poor social skills often shut others out this way. They assume no one can relate. Or they use this phrase as a way to avoid being vulnerable.
But conversations don’t require shared experience—they require shared willingness.
A final thought
Most people who struggle socially don’t mean harm. They’re not out to alienate or offend. They just haven’t learned the small, gentle art of being emotionally attuned.
And the good news? These are habits—not permanent traits.
If you recognize yourself in a few of these phrases, don’t beat yourself up. We’ve all misstepped. We’ve all had awkward moments.
The key is noticing. Adjusting. Trying again.
Because the best social skill of all?
Is caring enough to grow.
