Over the years, I’ve learned a thing or two about what happens when people don’t understand the concept of boundaries.
And no, I’m not talking about building walls or shutting people out. I’m talking about the kind of boundaries that keep our relationships healthy—respect, space, and mutual understanding.
If you’ve ever found yourself drained after certain interactions, chances are you were on the receiving end of someone with boundary issues.
Let’s walk through ten common behaviors I’ve noticed in people who just don’t get it when it comes to personal space, emotional or otherwise.
1. They overshare in inappropriate settings
We’ve all met someone who spills their life story five minutes into meeting them.
I once sat next to a man at a wedding who told me about his ex-wife’s affair, his colonoscopy, and his cousin’s gambling problem all before dessert.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe in vulnerability. But timing and context matter.
Oversharing in the wrong setting puts others in an awkward spot
It’s often a sign someone doesn’t understand where their emotional boundaries end and others’ comfort zones begin.
2. They expect you to be available 24/7
I had a neighbor once who would call me late at night just to chat—no emergency, no real purpose, just boredom.
And if I didn’t pick up? He’d leave three voicemails asking if everything was okay.
People who struggle with boundaries often blur the lines between connection and intrusion.
They think access equals affection. But as I’ve learned in my retirement years, even the closest relationships need room to breathe.
3. They interrupt or talk over others constantly
This one gets to me, especially at family gatherings.
There’s always that one person who steamrolls the conversation, jumping in with their own stories, cutting others off mid-sentence.
Why do they do this? Often, it’s not arrogance, it’s a lack of awareness.
They’re so consumed by their own thoughts that they forget conversations are meant to be shared, not dominated.
4. They touch without asking
Whether it’s standing too close in line, constantly patting your shoulder, or invading your personal bubble, some folks just don’t seem to notice the discomfort they cause.
And let’s be honest, what feels like harmless friendliness to them might feel invasive to others.
Physical space is a boundary too, and it deserves the same respect as any emotional limit.
5. They guilt-trip you for saying no
Have you ever turned down a favor, only to be met with, “Wow, I wouldn’t have said no if it were you”?
That, my friend, is emotional manipulation plain and simple.
According to a study from the University of Arizona, “People with poor social skills have high levels of stress and loneliness in their lives.”
And sometimes, guilt-tripping is a way for them to maintain connection. But it’s not healthy— or them or for you.
Saying no is not a betrayal. It’s a basic human right.
People who respect boundaries won’t make you feel bad for asserting them.
6. They dump their problems on others without permission
I once bumped into an old coworker at the park. What started as a “how have you been?” turned into a one-hour monologue about her divorce, her boss, and her thyroid issues.
And not once did she ask how I was doing.
Look, I understand the need to vent, we all need it sometimes.
But people who consistently unload without checking in or asking, “Do you have space for this?” are using others as emotional dumpsters.
It’s not empathy, it’s entitlement dressed up as vulnerability.
7. They overstep in your parenting or personal decisions
When my daughter had her first child, I made a conscious effort to keep my advice to myself unless she asked.
But not everyone takes that route. Some people just insert themselves into your life: offering unsolicited opinions, questioning your choices, even trying to override your decisions.
And often, they justify it as “just caring.” But respect means knowing when to speak and when to stay silent.
As Jennifer Worley, LMFT points out, “Engaging with a narcissist is challenging. Confronting them directly often leads to defensiveness or rage.”
While not everyone who oversteps is narcissistic, a lack of boundaries and emotional volatility often go hand in hand.
8. They take offense when you assert your needs
This is a big one.
Have you ever politely said, “I need some time to myself,” only to be met with, “Wow, I guess I’m not important to you”?
That’s someone projecting their own insecurity onto your reasonable boundary.
Setting limits shouldn’t make you the villain in someone else’s story.
But for people who lack boundaries themselves, your self-care feels like rejection.
9. They try to control how you think, feel, or act
In my years of observing human behavior, I’ve noticed that people who lack boundaries often can’t stand independence in others.
They want you to agree with them, feel what they feel, and behave the way they expect.
They’re the ones who say things like, “You shouldn’t feel that way,” or “That’s not how I would have handled it.”
And if you deviate, they make it your problem.
Healthy boundaries allow for difference. They say: “You’re you, and I’m me and that’s okay.”
10. They make everything about themselves
Ever tried sharing something personal, only to have the other person immediately pivot back to their own experience? It’s frustrating, isn’t it?
A good conversation has give and take. But people with poor boundaries struggle to recognize that not every moment revolves around them.
In fact, according to Dr. Natalie Feinblatt, “Narcissists often exhibit distinctive patterns of behavior that revolve around an excessive focus on themselves and a lack of empathy for others.”
While not everyone guilty of this is a narcissist, it’s still a red flag.
The world doesn’t revolve around any one person, not even the well-meaning ones.
Final thoughts
If any of these behaviors feel a little too familiar either in others or yourself, don’t worry. This isn’t about blame.
It’s about awareness.
Most of us didn’t grow up with a roadmap for healthy boundaries. But we can learn. We can adjust.
And we can gently teach others what respect and emotional space really look like.
So next time someone steps over a line, ask yourself: is it worth a gentle nudge? Sometimes, a little honesty can go a long way.
And if you’re working on your own boundaries, here’s a question to leave you with: where in your life could you start saying “yes” to yourself a little more?
Because that, my friend, is where healthy connection begins.
