Most people don’t lose happiness all at once. It slips away quietly.
Not because something dramatic happens, but because of subtle habits we repeat every day without thinking.
A rushed morning. A half-hearted yes. A negative thought you never challenge. A feeling you suppress because “it’s not that big of a deal.”
These things seem small. But over time, they chip away at your peace, confidence, and joy—until one day, you wake up wondering why you feel so off, so often.
I’ve been there. Even as someone who writes about mindfulness and personal growth for a living, I found myself unknowingly feeding patterns that drained me.
If you’re feeling low without a clear reason, these habits could be playing a role.
Let’s break them down.
1. Overthinking
I used to mistake overthinking for being careful or responsible. But what I was really doing was draining my energy and fueling anxiety.
My thoughts would loop endlessly. I’d replay awkward conversations, imagine worst-case scenarios, and second-guess every little choice. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was stuck rehearsing things that never even happened.
It left me feeling tense, distracted, and disconnected from the good things happening around me.
When your mind keeps spinning, there’s no room left for calm or clarity. You’re not solving anything. You’re just amplifying stress and crowding out real insight.
What helped me break the cycle was setting a timer. I gave myself ten minutes a day to worry on purpose—write it down, think it through, no filters. And when the time was up, I’d shift my focus.
That small boundary gave me structure. It didn’t stop all the overthinking, but it kept it from taking over. And that alone made a noticeable difference.
2. Neglecting self-care
As the founder of Hack Spirit, I found myself so caught up in building the business and maintaining the website that I neglected my own needs. I was constantly on the go, always pushing myself to do more, be more.
I was sacrificing sleep, skipping meals, and ignoring my body’s cries for rest. My happiness was paying the price.
I started to see that self-care had nothing to do with luxury. It was about respecting my limits, listening to my body, and taking my mental health seriously—especially when it was easier to ignore it.
From that day on, I made a conscious effort to prioritize self-care. Whether it was ensuring I got enough sleep, eating nutritious food or simply taking a break when needed, these small changes started making a big difference in my happiness levels.
3. Comparing myself to others
As I was building Hack Spirit, I found myself constantly looking at what other successful entrepreneurs were doing.
Their success stories, their milestones, their achievements – I was constantly comparing my journey with theirs.
The more I compared, the less happy I became. It felt like I was always falling short, always playing catch up.
I realized that this comparison game was a one-way ticket to unhappiness. It was making me focus on what I lacked, instead of appreciating what I had.
When I stopped comparing myself to others and started focusing on my own journey, my perspective changed. I began to appreciate my small victories and take pride in my progress.
If you’re also trapped in the comparison game, remember that everyone is on a unique journey. Celebrate your own progress, no matter how small it seems. Your happiness lies in your journey, not someone else’s.
4. Dwelling on the past
I used to get caught in loops of regret—replaying past mistakes, revisiting missed chances, and wishing I’d done things differently.
It felt like I was mentally living in a place that no longer existed. And the more time I spent there, the less joy I had in the life happening right in front of me.
Eventually, I started practicing something simple: redirecting my attention. Whenever my mind drifted back to old regrets, I’d bring it gently into the present. I’d notice my breath, my surroundings, or something small I could appreciate in that moment.
This wasn’t about pretending the past didn’t matter. It was about giving more weight to the part of life I could still influence.
The more I leaned into the present, the lighter I felt. Not because the past disappeared, but because it stopped running the show.
5. Ignoring my passions
There was a stretch of time where I became so focused on achieving and checking off goals that I lost sight of the things that actually made me feel alive.
Writing, exploring new ideas, diving into psychology—these were all things I loved. But they slowly got pushed aside in favor of what seemed more urgent or productive.
Eventually, I noticed something was missing. Not in a dramatic way, but in that quiet, persistent sense of dissatisfaction that creeps in when you’re out of alignment with yourself.
So I started carving out time for the things that lit me up, even in small doses. And it made a real difference. I felt more grounded, more energized, and more myself.
When we lose touch with what we love, life can start to feel like a checklist. Reconnecting with what excites or inspires you, no matter how simple, can shift everything.
6. Seeking approval from others
There was a time when I cared too much about how others viewed me. Whether it was my work, my decisions, or even how I showed up online, I constantly looked for signs that I was doing well—likes, compliments, approval.
But the more I relied on that feedback, the more fragile my confidence became. It felt like my sense of worth was always up for debate, depending on what someone else thought that day.
Eventually, I realized I’d handed over too much power. Letting others define my value was not only exhausting, it was unsustainable.
So I made a shift. I started paying attention to my own standards. I acknowledged what I was doing well and gave myself credit without waiting for outside praise.
That mindset change didn’t happen overnight, but it built something stronger: self-respect. And from that place, happiness became a lot easier to hold onto.
7. Chasing happiness itself
For a while, I was so focused on being happy that I forgot to actually live.
I treated happiness like a finish line. Something I’d reach once everything in my life lined up perfectly—more success, better habits, less stress.
But that mindset kept me in a loop of striving. I was always looking ahead, never feeling quite satisfied in the present.
Eventually, I started noticing the simple things.
Writing something meaningful. Laughing with a friend. A quiet coffee in the morning. The more I paid attention to those moments, the more grounded I felt.
It wasn’t about chasing happiness anymore. It was about being where I was, fully. And somehow, that’s when happiness started showing up on its own.
So here’s something worth trying: focus less on feeling happy, and more on doing what matters.
Be present with your task, your conversation, your environment. Let happiness meet you there.
Conclusion
Noticing the habits that were quietly draining my happiness wasn’t comfortable—but it changed everything.
The truth is, it’s often the small patterns we overlook that shape how we feel each day. When you become aware of them, you get the chance to choose differently.
Start by paying attention to how you move through your day. What leaves you feeling heavy? What habits bring you energy or peace?
You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Just shift one habit at a time. Make space for progress, not perfection.
And through it all, stay rooted in the present. That’s where joy lives—not in some future milestone, but in how you show up today.
