There’s a fine line between sounding smart and sounding pretentious.
This line is often defined by the words we use. Pretentious people have a knack for slipping certain phrases into everyday conversations, seemingly to impress others, but often achieving the opposite.
Now, psychology offers a fascinating window into this behavior. It can help us understand why certain phrases are favorites among the pretentious crowd.
In this article, I’ll dive into seven such phrases that pretentious people just can’t resist using in their daily chit-chat.
And who knows? Familiarizing ourselves with these might help us sound more authentic and less pompous in our own conversations.
1) “In my opinion…”
We all have opinions, right? But pretentious people have a special way of presenting theirs. They often start their sentences with “In my opinion…”.
Now, this might seem harmless, even respectful. But according to psychology, this phrase can often convey an underlying message of superiority. It’s as if they’re subtly saying, “my opinion is the one that really matters here”.
This phrase is often used to assert authority over a conversation and establish oneself as the ‘intellectual’ in the room. It can be a subtle way to dismiss others’ perspectives and elevate their own.
Pretentious people, in their rush to prove their intellectual prowess, often forget this valuable lesson. They’re so focused on expressing their opinions that they sometimes miss out on the opportunity to learn from others.
2) “Actually…”
“Actually” is another favorite among the pretentious crowd. It’s like a red flag that signals an incoming ‘correction’ or ‘clarification’.
Let me share a personal example. I once knew someone who would start almost every sentence with “Actually…” even when he was agreeing with what was said.
It was as though he had an innate need to assert his knowledge, to show that he had something extra to contribute, even when it wasn’t needed.
It reminded me of something Sigmund Freud once said, “The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.” The word “Actually” can often be a veiled insult, a stone thrown to subtly undermine others and assert intellectual dominance.
Indeed, conversation should be a two-way street. It isn’t about proving how much you know, but about understanding and learning from each other.
3) “To be honest…”
Have you ever noticed how some people have a habit of starting their sentences with “To be honest…”? It’s as though they’re implying that they were being less than honest before.
This phrase is a pretentious person’s favorite. It’s as if they’re letting you in on some great secret, gracing you with their ‘raw and unfiltered’ honesty. But in reality, it’s often just a way to make their mundane opinions seem more important or intriguing.
Pretentious people often fail to recognize that their words don’t necessarily reflect greater honesty or wisdom but can instead come across as contrived and self-important.
Honesty is admirable, but it doesn’t need to be announced. It should permeate our conversations naturally, without the need for a grand declaration.
4) “Did you know…?”
Pretentious people love to flaunt their knowledge. This often takes the form of random trivia or facts, introduced with a “Did you know…?”
While sharing knowledge is admirable, the pretentious use this phrase to assert their intellectual superiority rather than to genuinely enlighten others. The conversation becomes more about showcasing what they know rather than engaging in meaningful dialogue.
A study found that people who perceive themselves as more knowledgeable can often come across as overbearing or condescending. This is especially true when they regularly impose unsolicited information on others.
Knowledge is a wonderful thing, but it’s how we share it that makes the difference between being seen as insightful or just plain pretentious.
5) “As someone who…”
“As someone who…” is another phrase that’s often overused by pretentious people. It’s like they’re constantly trying to establish their credentials or unique experiences, even in casual conversation.
I remember a friend who loved starting her sentences with “As a vegan…”, or “As a yoga enthusiast…”, even when the conversation had nothing to do with diet or exercise. It felt like she was always trying to one-up everyone else with her ‘unique’ lifestyle choices.
This reminds me of something existential psychologist Rollo May said: “The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it is conformity.”
Those who constantly feel the need to assert their individuality might actually be conforming to a pretentious behavior pattern, seeking validation and affirmation for their choices.
It’s great to be proud of who you are, but it’s equally important to engage in conversations without making it all about yourself.
6) “I can’t help but…”
Here’s a counterintuitive one for you. “I can’t help but…” is a phrase that pretentious people often use to justify their actions or opinions as if they have no control over them.
The irony is that they’re using this phrase to assert their individuality or uniqueness, yet by saying they can’t control it, they’re essentially removing their personal responsibility. It’s a paradox that’s fascinating and frustrating in equal measure.
Those who say “I can’t help but…” might be unconsciously seeking to absolve themselves of accountability, while simultaneously trying to set themselves apart.
Being unique doesn’t mean shirking responsibility. It’s about acknowledging our individuality while remaining accountable for our actions and words.
7) “Obviously…”
“Obviously…” is a word that pretentious people love to slip into conversations. It’s like they’re implying that everyone else should already know what they’re about to say.
But as psychologist Albert Bandura wisely noted, “In order to succeed, people need a sense of self-efficacy.” When someone constantly uses “obviously,” it can inadvertently undermine others’ sense of self-efficacy and knowledge.
Learning and growth thrive in an atmosphere of mutual respect, not in an environment where knowledge is assumed and belittled.
Final thoughts
Language is a fascinating mirror, reflecting the quirks and characteristics of our personalities. The phrases we choose to use can reveal more about us than we might realize.
As we’ve delved into these seven phrases pretentious people love to use, it’s been an enlightening journey into the world of psychology.
This is not about labeling or criticizing others. It’s about developing our self-awareness and understanding how our words can impact the dynamics of a conversation.
Are there phrases you find yourself resorting to more often? How do they shape the conversations you have? And most importantly, do they reflect the person you strive to be?
As we move forward in our interactions, let’s remember to listen more, learn constantly, and ensure our words foster understanding and respect. Because in the end, true wisdom lies not in impressing others with what we know, but in fostering meaningful connections through what we say.
