7 phrases socially awkward people often say without realizing it

I’ve always had my fair share of awkward social encounters, and I’ve come to realize that it’s often not about what you do, but what you say. Turns out, a lot of us socially awkward folks have some common phrases that we tend to use without even realizing it.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing inherently bad about being socially awkward. But sometimes, our words can make interactions more challenging than they need to be.

I’ve identified 7 phrases that we, the socially awkward people, often say without realizing how they come across.

Let’s delve into these phrases, understand why they might be holding us back, and explore some alternatives that might help make social exchanges a bit smoother.

1) “Sorry”

We’ve all been there. You bump into someone on the street, and before you even realize what happened, you’ve blurted out a quick “Sorry”.

But what if I told you that this seemingly harmless word is actually one of the most common phrases socially awkward people overuse?

Now, there’s nothing wrong with apologizing when it’s warranted. But socially awkward individuals often find themselves apologizing for things that aren’t their fault, or even things that don’t require an apology at all.

This constant apologizing can sometimes give others the impression that we’re unsure of ourselves or that we’re always in the wrong, even when we’re not. It can also make interactions feel a bit uncomfortable or awkward.

So, what’s the solution? Well, it’s not about never saying sorry again. Instead, it’s about being mindful of when and why we’re apologizing. Understanding this can help us use the word more effectively and reduce unnecessary apologies.

2) “It’s probably stupid, but…”

Ah, the classic preface to an idea or opinion. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself saying, “This might be a dumb idea, but…” or “You’ll probably think this is silly, but…”.

It’s like we’re creating a safety net before we even share our thoughts.

Let me give you an example. I remember once, in a meeting at work, I had a suggestion about a project we were working on. Instead of confidently sharing my idea, I found myself saying, “This might be a silly suggestion, but what if we tried this approach…”.

I realized later that by prefacing my idea with that phrase, I was essentially undermining myself before anyone else had the chance to.

And even though my suggestion was well-received, I couldn’t help but feel that I had somehow diminished its value by presenting it as potentially “stupid” or “silly”.

So why do we do this? Often, it’s because we’re afraid of being judged or rejected. But by setting ourselves up for failure, we’re not giving ourselves or our ideas the chance they deserve.

3) “I’m fine”

We’ve all heard it, and most of us have said it – “I’m fine”. It’s a phrase that’s so common it’s almost a reflex. But did you know this phrase is often used by those who are socially awkward?

When asked how they are, socially awkward individuals often default to “I’m fine”, even when they’re not. Perhaps it’s out of fear of burdening others with their problems, or maybe they just don’t feel comfortable expressing their true feelings.

The problem is, “I’m fine” rarely conveys how a person is actually feeling. It’s a vague, non-committal response that doesn’t invite further conversation. And in the long run, it can create distance between people as it doesn’t allow for deeper emotional connection.

So instead of using “I’m fine” as a default response, try to express how you’re really feeling. You don’t have to spill your deepest secrets, but opening up just a little can lead to more meaningful interactions and relationships.

After all, communication is about connection, and sharing our true feelings can help us connect with others on a deeper level.

4) “Just kidding”

Adding a “just kidding” or “I was just joking” after a statement is another common trait among socially awkward individuals. It’s as if we’re trying to soften the impact of our words, or take them back if they’re not received well.

But here’s the catch: while it may seem like a harmless addition, constantly appending our statements with “just kidding” can confuse others and make communication murky. It may leave people unsure of what we really mean or think, and even cause them to question our sincerity.

Moreover, it can also give the impression that we’re not confident in our own thoughts or opinions, which isn’t the message most of us want to convey.

So, let’s try to say what we mean and stand by it. If a joke doesn’t land or a comment is taken the wrong way, there are better ways to salvage the situation than defaulting to “just kidding”.

A sincere apology or clarification can go a long way in maintaining open and clear communication.

5) “I don’t know”

“I don’t know” is a phrase I’ve found myself using more often than I’d like to admit. It’s almost like a security blanket, shielding me from potential judgement or criticism.

Whether it’s about making a decision or expressing an opinion, “I don’t know” has often been my go-to response. It feels safer to sit on the fence than to put myself out there and risk being wrong or criticized.

But here’s what I’ve realized: Constantly saying “I don’t know” can give others the impression that I lack confidence or decisiveness. And sometimes, it can even hinder my own personal growth, as it stops me from exploring my thoughts, forming opinions, and making decisions.

So, instead of resorting to “I don’t know”, I’m trying to take the time to think things through and express what I truly feel or think. Sure, it feels a bit uncomfortable, but it also feels empowering.

It’s a small change in language that can make a big difference in how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us.

6) “Does that make sense?”

“Does that make sense?” or “Am I making sense?” are phrases often used by those who are socially awkward. It’s like we’re seeking validation that our thoughts and ideas are understandable and valuable.

While it’s important to ensure that our message is clear, repeatedly asking if we’re making sense can suggest a lack of confidence in our own ability to communicate effectively. It can also disrupt the flow of conversation and make interactions feel less natural.

Instead of constantly questioning if we’re making sense, we could try to express our thoughts as clearly as possible and trust that they will be understood. If there’s a need for clarification, most people will ask.

Remember, it’s okay to have confidence in our own thoughts and ideas. We don’t always need external validation to confirm their worth.

7) “Never mind”

Perhaps one of the most harmful phrases socially awkward individuals tend to use is “never mind”. It’s as if, midway through expressing a thought or an idea, we decide it’s not worth sharing after all.

The trouble with “never mind” is that it shuts down conversation and can give the impression that we don’t value our own thoughts or ideas. It can also leave others feeling confused or frustrated, as they’re left hanging without understanding what we were trying to express.

Rather than retreating with a “never mind”, let’s try to push through the discomfort and finish our thoughts.

Our ideas and opinions matter, and they’re worth sharing. Even if they’re not perfect or fully formed, they’re a reflection of who we are, and that’s always worth expressing.

Final thoughts

As we navigate through the complexities of social interactions, it’s important to remember that our words carry weight. They shape not only how others perceive us, but also how we perceive ourselves.

And for those of us who identify as socially awkward, the phrases we’ve discussed may ring especially true. But remember, being socially awkward isn’t a fatal flaw. It’s simply a facet of who we are, and it doesn’t define our worth or potential.

The journey towards better communication isn’t about changing who we are.

It’s about understanding our patterns, acknowledging how they may impact our interactions, and making mindful adjustments. It’s about giving ourselves the space to grow and learn, without self-judgment.

So next time you catch yourself saying one of these phrases, pause. Reflect on what you’re truly trying to convey and give yourself the permission to express it.

After all, every conversation, every interaction, is an opportunity for growth.

And who knows? With a bit of self-awareness and a few tweaks in our language, we might just find ourselves navigating social situations with a bit more ease and confidence.