You ever meet someone in their seventies or eighties who just gets it? They’re not trying to be trendy, and they’re certainly not clinging to their youth—but they’ve got this spark, this way of moving through the world that makes everyone around them feel a little more at ease.
I’ve always admired people like that. Not just for their stories or wisdom, but for the way they wear their age with ease. No apologies, no pretending, just quietly confident in who they are.
The truth is, becoming one of those people doesn’t happen overnight. It’s shaped by how you live long before your hair goes grey or your knees start reminding you of the weather forecast.
So, if you’re wondering whether you’re on the path to becoming one of the good ones—someone others look up to, laugh with, and learn from—these are seven signs that might just say yes.
1. You can laugh at yourself
Let me tell you, I’ve spilled enough coffee on my shirts over the years to open a dry-cleaning tab. There was a time I’d get all flustered or try to cover it up. Now? I just shrug, pat the dog, and move on.
People who age well—not just physically, but emotionally—don’t take themselves too seriously. They know they’re a little eccentric, a bit forgetful, maybe not up to speed on the latest slang. And they’re totally fine with that.
Humor keeps you light, and I’d say it’s also part of the art of aging well. It keeps you connected. It tells the people around you that they don’t have to be perfect to be loved—and neither do you.
2. You keep learning new things
I recently tried to learn how to use a drone. It didn’t go well. Let’s just say Lottie (my dog) is now suspicious of flying objects, and I’ve got a small dent in my bird feeder.
But I’d do it again. Because the process of learning, of fumbling and figuring it out, does something important for the soul—it reminds you that you’re still alive.
Cool older folks stay curious. They pick up new hobbies. They read books outside their usual lane. They ask questions, not because they’re clueless, but because they’re interested.
Research backs this up. A recent study published in the Journal of Gerontology and Geriatrics Education found that older adults who take part in lifelong learning programs tend to have higher cognitive scores, especially in verbal learning and memory, compared to those who don’t engage in such activities.
So go ahead and take that dance class. Watch that documentary. Ask your niece how to use BeReal (just don’t expect her to explain it twice).
3. You can sit with change without panicking
This one’s tricky. Life will keep throwing curveballs at you, even when you think you’ve earned some peace and predictability.
Your kids move away. Friends pass on. Technology changes. The neighborhood evolves.
What sets someone apart isn’t whether these things happen—it’s how they respond. Do they grumble about the “good old days”? Or do they find ways to adapt?
Cool older people don’t cling to how things used to be. They might honor the past, but they don’t live there.
I’ve mentioned this before in a past post about embracing change, but it really does come down to one key mindset: flexibility. Being able to shift gears without losing your grounding. Letting go when needed and welcoming what’s next with curiosity instead of fear.
4. You genuinely enjoy people who are different from you
Some of the most interesting conversations I’ve had recently were with folks half my age—or younger.
My daughter’s best friend is nonbinary, and their chats over coffee have led me down a rabbit hole of reading and reflection I wouldn’t have imagined ten years ago. I’ll be honest, some of it stretched me. But I’m grateful for that stretch.
When you’re genuinely open to different perspectives—across cultures, ages, lifestyles—it shows. You’re not just tolerating difference, you’re learning from it. You’re showing younger folks that curiosity doesn’t expire with age.
Coolness, in this sense, is about making others feel seen and safe around you. It’s about being approachable without pretending to be an expert in everyone else’s experience.
As Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
5. You don’t live in bitterness
Look, we’ve all got stories. Times we were wronged. Opportunities missed. People who let us down.
But holding onto bitterness as the years roll on? That’ll age you faster than anything. I’ve seen it. You probably have too.
The “cool” older folks—the ones people want to be around—have made peace with their past.
They’ve forgiven where needed, even if they never got an apology. They’ve dropped the scorecard. They’ve stopped trying to rewrite old chapters and started living the one they’re in.
Bitterness repels. But warmth? That draws people in. And if there’s anything worth cultivating as you age, it’s that.
6. You maintain rituals that keep you grounded
I’m not talking about rigid routines or productivity systems. I’m talking about those quiet, meaningful anchors that bring you back to yourself.
Maybe it’s morning coffee on the porch. A walk with the dog. Weekly calls with a longtime friend. Listening to vinyl records while making soup.
Whatever it is, people who age with grace have something that centers them—especially when life feels uncertain or noisy.
They don’t drift aimlessly. They find steadiness in the small things.
It reminds me of what Seneca once wrote: “Everywhere means nowhere. When a person spends all their time in foreign travel, they end by having many acquaintances, but no friends.” I think the same is true internally. We need those quiet, rooted moments to stay connected to who we are.
7. You’ve got just the right amount of rebelliousness
Ever meet an older person who still surprises you?
Maybe it’s the 75-year-old with purple glasses and a tattoo. Or the grandfather who shows up at protests with a homemade sign. Or the woman in her sixties who laughs too loudly at the wrong jokes—and makes everyone else laugh, too.
There’s something magnetic about someone who refuses to become bland with age. Who doesn’t cave to cultural expectations about “how to act.” Who makes their own rules—not to be edgy, but to be true.
A while back, I read the book Laughing in the Face of Chaos by Rudá Iandê. If you haven’t picked it up, I highly recommend it. It’s not your typical self-help fare. It’s irreverent, wise, politically incorrect in all the right ways—and it reminded me that authenticity often looks a lot like rebellion in a world that loves conformity.
It helped me double down on being unapologetically myself, which I think is the secret sauce to aging well: being real, being honest, being fully you—even when it raises a few eyebrows.
Final words
Being a cool older person has nothing to do with trends and everything to do with presence. Humor. Curiosity. Self-awareness. And that soft kind of strength that makes others feel lighter just by being near you.
So if you recognized yourself in even a few of these signs—keep going. You’re on the right path.
And if not? No worries. There’s time. There’s always time to grow into the kind of person others want to sit next to. Someone they trust. Someone who listens. Someone who makes aging look not just doable—but kind of wonderful.
Here’s a question to take with you:
What would your future self thank you for starting today?
