There’s something unique about the bond between a mother and child. But, does this bond translate into a true friendship?
Psychology says it can, but it’s not always easy to identify.
When your mother becomes your best friend, things shift slightly. The unconditional love remains, but it’s now partnered with mutual respect, shared interests, and an unspoken understanding that only best friends possess.
Peeling back the layers of this special relationship can be fascinating. And, according to psychology, there are seven clear signs to look for.
Let’s dive into this compelling blend of family ties and friendship bonds, exploring how psychology identifies when your mom is truly your best friend. It’s a heartwarming journey worth embarking on.
1) Unconditional support
It’s not uncommon to turn to our friends in times of need. But when your mother is your best friend, this support takes on a whole new meaning.
Psychologists have long recognized the profound influence of maternal support on a child’s development. This support, when extended into adulthood, evolves into something even more special.
Infamous psychologist Erich Fromm once said:
“The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother’s part, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent.”
This quote encapsulates the delicate balance of a mother being a best friend. She loves you unconditionally and supports your growth, even if it means growing away from her.
When your mother is truly your best friend, she supports your decisions and stands by you through thick and thin. She offers advice when you need it, but ultimately respects your choices, just as any true friend would.
This unwavering support is a clear sign that your mother is not just a parent but also your best friend.
2) Genuine interest in your life
When your mother is your best friend, she doesn’t just care about your well-being. She’s genuinely interested in the minutiae of your daily life.
I remember when I moved to a new city for my first job. My mom would call me every day, not just to check if I was eating well or sleeping enough, but also to know about my new colleagues, the projects I was working on, and how I was settling into my new apartment.
She wanted to know all about the mundane aspects of my life that seemed trivial to me, but were fascinating to her. It was like she was living vicariously through my experiences.
This isn’t just anecdotal. According to renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the need for love and belonging is a fundamental human motivation.
When your mother shows a genuine interest in your life, it’s a manifestation of her love and her desire for a deeper connection with you.
If your mom is always eager to hear about your day, even the most mundane parts of it, that’s a clear sign that she isn’t just your mom, she’s your best friend.
3) Acceptance of your flaws
Do you ever feel like you can be your true, unfiltered self around your mother?
Sometimes, we put a certain version of ourselves out into the world. We hide our flaws, our insecurities, and our mistakes. But with a mother who is also a best friend, there’s no need for pretense.
She knows you, inside and out. She’s seen you at your best and at your worst. She has witnessed your triumphs and been there for your failures. And yet, she accepts you, completely and unconditionally.
As famed psychologist Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
Your mom’s acceptance of you in all your flawed glory doesn’t just make you feel loved, but it also gives you the courage to grow and evolve.
Her acceptance and love aren’t contingent on you being perfect. They’re based on the fact that you’re her child and her friend. And if that’s not a sign of a mother being a best friend, then I don’t know what is.
4) Shared laughter and joy
There’s something incredibly special about sharing a good hearty laugh with your mom. This shared joy not only strengthens your bond but is also a clear sign that your mother is more than just a parent – she is your best friend.
A study, suggests that laughter is not just about humor, but more about social bonding. When we laugh together, we’re sharing a moment of mutual joy and understanding.
I remember watching old sitcoms with my mom, laughing until tears streamed down our faces. Or the times when we would share an inside joke at the most inappropriate times, causing us to burst into uncontrollable giggles.
These shared moments of joy foster a deeper connection, one that transcends the typical mother-child relationship and enters the realm of true friendship.
If you find yourself regularly sharing a good laugh with your mom, consider it a sign that she’s truly your best friend.
5) A mutual respect
Mutual respect is the bedrock of any healthy relationship, and a friendship with your mother is no exception.
It’s one thing for a mother to respect her child as a person. It’s another for her to respect you as an adult with your own thoughts, values, and decisions.
If she does, it signifies a shift from a parent-child relationship to one of friendship.
When I decided to switch careers, my mom didn’t understand my decision. She was worried and raised some valid concerns.
But when I explained my reasons, she respected my choice. She didn’t agree, but she respected the fact that I had made an informed decision.
If your mother respects your autonomy and individuality, it’s a sure sign that she is not just your mother but also your best friend.
6) Comfortable silence
When we think of friendship, we often imagine long, heart-to-heart conversations. But have you ever considered the value of shared silence?
With a mother who is also your best friend, comfortable silence is golden. It’s about being in each other’s company, content and at ease, without the need for constant chatter. It’s about understanding and connection that transcends words.
Psychologist Rollo May once said, “Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.”
Sometimes, this communication comes not through words, but through shared silence.
If you find yourself enjoying blissful moments of quiet with your mom, not because there’s nothing to say but because you’re both comfortable in the silence, it’s a sign that your mother is truly your best friend.
This counterintuitive sign speaks volumes about the depth of your bond.
7) Trust beyond measure
Trust is a cornerstone of any friendship, and it holds true when your mother is your best friend.
You confide in her, knowing your secrets are safe. You rely on her, assured she won’t let you down. This level of trust is often unmatched.
As Erik Erikson, a renowned developmental psychologist, said, “Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive.”
Trust is a form of hope, and when placed in your mother, it cements her status as not just a parent but a best friend.
If you find that your trust in your mother goes above and beyond, it’s the ultimate sign that she’s truly your best friend.
Wrapping it all up
The bond between a mother and child is beautiful and complex. But when this bond evolves into a friendship, it takes on an entirely new dimension.
These seven signs we’ve explored offer a window into this unique relationship. Are you seeing your mom in a new light yet?
Maybe she’s more than just your parent. Perhaps she’s your confidante, your supporter, your cheerleader, and most importantly, your best friend.
Remember, these signs are not checkboxes to tick off. They’re subtle indicators of a deep and enduring friendship that transcends the traditional mother-child relationship.
Take a moment to reflect on your relationship with your mom. If she ranks high on these signs, then you’re truly lucky to have not just a loving mother but also an incredible best friend.
Appreciate her, cherish her, and never forget to tell her how much she means to you. Because having a mother as a best friend is truly one of the greatest gifts of life.
