You can be doing all the right things and still feel like you’re sinking in place.
I’ve been there too—checking off the productivity list, showing up to the yoga mat, even meditating daily—and still sensing that something inside me isn’t moving forward.
Getting stuck doesn’t always come with fireworks. Sometimes, it’s quiet. Subtle. Like the same thoughts circling over and over again while your body goes through the motions of “normal” life.
This piece is about breaking through that quiet trap.
These are the harder truths that might be keeping you stuck—and the mindful, grounded ways to work with them. Not by fixing yourself, but by finally listening to what your stuckness is trying to say.
Let’s begin.
1. You’re confusing comfort with clarity
Comfort zones feel like clarity because they’re familiar.
You think, “I must be doing what’s right, because I’m not anxious.”
But clarity isn’t about comfort—it’s about alignment.
And sometimes alignment feels messy. Scary. Uncertain.
I had to sit with this during my decision not to have children. It wasn’t comfortable at first. It shook up my sense of identity, my friendships, even my marriage. But it was the clearest I had ever felt.
If your life is calm but something inside feels lifeless, ask yourself if you’re prioritizing comfort over truth.
Real clarity doesn’t always feel easy. But it feels alive.
2. You’re ignoring your body’s signals
One of the biggest shifts in my own growth came when I started listening from the neck down.
Your body carries wisdom your mind is too busy to hear.
- That clenching in your jaw when you say “yes”
- The fatigue that hits every time you open your laptop
- The tightness in your chest around certain people
These aren’t inconveniences. They’re messages.
Rudá Iandê’s new book, Laughing in the Face of Chaos, reminded me of this in a way that landed deeply:
“Everything that you conceive of as ‘you’—your personality, your memories, your hopes and dreams—is a product of the miraculous creature that is your body.”
Since reading his insights, I’ve paid closer attention to how resistance shows up physically before it shows up mentally.
Start there.
Let your body speak first.
3. You’re waiting for motivation to make the first move
Motivation is a reaction, not a prerequisite.
If you keep waiting for motivation to show up before you take action, you’ll stay exactly where you are. Taking even the smallest action helps generate the motivation to keep going.
I don’t wait to feel inspired to roll out my yoga mat anymore. I do it, even when I feel uninspired.
And nine times out of ten, the clarity follows.
Don’t wait to feel ready. Just start.
4. You’re still trying to be “good”
This one’s sneaky.
You might think you’ve broken free from people-pleasing—but if you’re still filtering your decisions through the lens of who they might disappoint, it’s still running the show.
As Rudá Iandê says:
“Being human means inevitably disappointing and hurting others, and the sooner you accept this reality, the easier it becomes to navigate life’s challenges.”
Let that land.
You don’t owe anyone a perfectly curated version of yourself.
The longer you try to be “good,” the longer you delay being real.
5. You’re mistaking busyness for momentum
Let’s be honest: some of us stay stuck by staying busy.
Emails. Errands. Cleaning the house. Constant planning.
It’s all motion—but not necessarily movement.
Experts have noted that we often use busyness to avoid the emotional discomfort of being still. Because when you’re still, things rise up.
But real change doesn’t always happen in the doing.
Sometimes it begins in the pause.
Ask yourself: Is your to-do list a distraction from what really needs to shift?
6. You’re avoiding the real fear
Fear isn’t the enemy.
What is dangerous is pretending it’s not there.
Maybe you say you’re stuck because you “don’t have time.” Or because it’s “just not the right season.”
But if you really pause, what’s underneath that excuse?
Fear of failure? Fear of judgment? Fear of losing a version of yourself that others like?
When I was exploring new directions in my work, I kept saying I needed to “get clearer.” But clarity wasn’t the problem—fear of letting go of my old identity was.
What if you stopped trying to overcome fear—and just got curious about it?
That’s when the power shifts.
7. You’re chasing healing like it’s a finish line
This one might sting: You might be addicted to fixing yourself.
Self-help can become self-avoidance.
You read every book, join every workshop, dissect every pattern—and still feel like you’re “not there yet.”
But what if there’s nothing to fix?
When I let go of trying to be “healed,” I started making choices from wholeness—not woundedness.
You don’t need to become someone new.
You just need to stop abandoning who you already are.
8. You’re telling yourself an outdated story
We all live inside stories.
Stories about who we are. What’s possible. What’s allowed.
If you’re stuck, ask: What story am I still living by?
Mine used to be: “I’m not someone who can handle uncertainty.”
I clung to routines and predictability like lifelines. But that story kept me small.
Eventually, I had to rewrite it.
Now I tell myself: “I can meet uncertainty with grace—and even curiosity.”
The stories we tell ourselves shape what we believe is possible.
Change the story, change the outcome.
Final thoughts
We don’t get unstuck by doing more.
We get unstuck by telling the truth.
To ourselves.
About what we feel. What we want. What we’ve outgrown.
Some of those truths will be uncomfortable. That’s okay.
Because discomfort is often a sign of alignment trying to happen.
You don’t need to wait for a breakthrough or a lightning bolt.
Just notice what’s no longer working—and be willing to choose something else.
And if you want a place to start, Rudá Iandê’s book might just be the shake-up you need.
It helped me remember that wholeness isn’t something you earn.
It’s who you’ve been all along.
