Navigating the world of attraction can feel a bit like trying to decode a secret language. It’s even trickier when the person you’re interested in is trying to keep their feelings under wraps.
That’s where I come in. Hi there, I’m Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog and a relationship expert. Over the years, I’ve come to recognize certain non-obvious signs that someone is deeply attracted to you, but they’re doing their best to keep it on the down-low.
In this article, I’m going to share with you 8 of these subtle cues. These are not your run-of-the-mill signs but rather the ones that fly under most people’s radar.
1) They’re always around
We all have that one person who seems to be around when we least expect it. It might not be obvious at first, but their consistent presence is a sign of deep attraction.
Let me explain.
When someone is attracted to you, they’ll find reasons to be near you. It could be as simple as taking the same route to work or showing up at your favorite coffee shop more often than not.
Now, this isn’t about stalking or infringing on your personal space. It’s about them being drawn to your company, even if they don’t want to admit it.
So if you notice that someone seems to pop up more frequently in your daily routine, it could be a non-obvious sign they’re more attracted to you than they’re letting on.
2) Their body language speaks volumes
Over the years, I’ve found that even when words fail to express attraction, the body rarely lies. It’s a lesson I learned from the late, great Maya Angelou, who once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
In the world of love and attraction, this translates to paying close attention to body language.
Here’s what you should look out for: Does their body often lean towards you during conversation? Do they frequently make eye contact? Are their feet pointed towards you when you’re together? These are all subtle signs that they might be into you.
Now, it’s easy to overlook these signs or brush them off as politeness or friendliness. But if these gestures are combined with other signs on this list, they could indicate a deeper attraction.
3) They remember the small details
One of the most endearing signs of deep attraction that I’ve come across is when someone remembers the small details about you.
I’m not just talking about your birthday or your favorite color. I’m referring to those minute details you mentioned casually in conversation – like how you prefer your coffee, or the name of your childhood pet. When someone is attracted to you, they tend to hang on to every word you say.
So if someone is consistently remembering these little things about you, it could be a sign they’re deeply attracted and invested in getting to know you better.
While it’s nice to be noticed and remembered, it’s also important to maintain a healthy balance in relationships. It’s one of the many keys to breaking free from codependency, as I explore further in my book.
4) They tease you
Now, this one might seem a bit counterintuitive. After all, isn’t teasing something we leave behind in the schoolyard?
Well, not quite.
As adults, light-hearted teasing can be a subtle way of showing attraction. It’s a playful method of interaction that allows someone to express their interest without revealing too much.
When someone is attracted to you, they might tease you about your quirky habits, your unique interests, or even the way you laugh. It’s their way of saying they notice you and are comfortable enough to engage in a little playful banter.
But remember, there’s a fine line between good-natured teasing and hurtful comments. If their teasing ever makes you feel uncomfortable or upset, it’s essential to communicate your feelings.
In the world of love and attraction, balance is key, and respect should always be the foundation.
5) They’re protective of you
Growing up with a big brother, I’ve always had someone who was protective over me. And as a relationship expert, I’ve come to realize that this protective instinct often extends beyond family relationships and into the realm of attraction.
When someone is attracted to you, they naturally want to ensure your safety and well-being. This could manifest in different ways – perhaps they offer to walk you home after a late-night gathering, or they’re always checking in on you when you’re not feeling well.
This protective nature isn’t about being possessive or controlling. Instead, it’s about them demonstrating their care and concern for your well-being.
6) They’re nervous around you
Let’s get real for a moment. Attraction isn’t always smooth and polished. Sometimes, it’s raw, nervous energy that can’t quite be concealed.
When someone is attracted to you but doesn’t want to show it, they may feel an added layer of anxiety around you. This could make them fumble their words, stumble a bit, or exhibit other nervous habits they usually wouldn’t.
You might notice them getting flustered easily or being overly conscious of their actions. They may even blush or stutter during conversations with you.
This is because they want to make a good impression but are too overwhelmed by their feelings. It’s a brutally honest sign of attraction that is hard to fake and even harder to control.
7) They listen more than they talk
As Dale Carnegie famously said, “To be interesting, be interested.” In my experience, this rings true in the world of attraction too.
When someone is deeply attracted to you, they often are more interested in listening to you than dominating the conversation. They want to hear your thoughts, your stories, and your opinions – because to them, you are intriguing.
This doesn’t mean they’ll sit silently while you do all the talking. Instead, they’ll engage in meaningful conversation, ask thoughtful questions, and show genuine interest in what you have to say.
In my early days of dating my husband, I noticed he would listen intently whenever I spoke. It was this quiet attentiveness that clued me into his deep attraction long before he confessed his feelings.
8) They find excuses to touch you
Here’s a raw truth: physical contact often betrays hidden attraction. And when someone is drawn to you but doesn’t want you to know, they might find subtle, non-invasive ways to touch you.
It could be a gentle brush of your arm during a conversation, a comforting pat on the back, or fixing a stray lock of your hair. These seemingly innocent touches can be their way of expressing an attraction they’re trying hard to hide.
Bear in mind, though, that everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to touch. What may seem like a sign of attraction to one person might just be a friendly gesture to another.
Final Thoughts
Deciphering signs of hidden attraction can often feel like solving a complex puzzle. But with these non-obvious signs I’ve shared with you, I hope you have a better understanding of what to look out for.
Remember, attraction is complex, and everyone expresses it differently. So while these signs can be helpful indicators, they’re not definitive proof. Always consider the context and the person’s normal behavior patterns.
For a deeper dive into understanding relationships and managing codependency, you might find my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, insightful.
In the end, remember that open communication is key in any relationship. If you’re unsure about someone’s feelings towards you, there’s no harm in having an open and honest discussion about it.
Here’s to understanding the subtle language of attraction and navigating your relationships with wisdom and clarity!
