Most of us have been on both sides of an age‑gap chat—the one politely nodding while the other party drones on.
Today we’re flipping the lens and looking at eight habits many in my generation slip into that send younger listeners racing for the mental exit.
You’ll learn what these habits look like, why they grate on ears raised in the smartphone era, and—most important—how to keep your message from disappearing into the scroll of oblivion.
1. Taking the scenic route before getting to the point
Storytelling is a fine art, but younger folks have been conditioned by character limits and 1.5‑speed podcasts.
A preamble that winds through your high‑school football exploits before revealing today’s question feels to them like they’re stuck behind a tractor on a one‑lane road.
I sometimes catch myself doing this at the dinner table—my grandson’s fingers inch toward his phone the moment I detour into weather reports.
Trim the fat: lead with the headline, then fill in details if curiosity flickers in their eyes.
Keeping things concise also respects their cognitive bandwidth.
Harvard Health reminds us that lively back‑and‑forth stimulates attention and memory, and helps strengthen neural networks—but only when both minds stay engaged.
If you can say it in a sentence, don’t use three.
And don’t worry, you’re not being rude by skipping the setup—you’re showing respect for their time.
2. Peppering speech with relics of slang
“Groovy,” “far‑out,” or “the bee’s knees” make excellent crossword answers, yet they rarely land in 2025 conversation.
What sounds nostalgic to us can feel like parody to people raised on memes.
Instead of forcing fresh teen lingo (nothing hollers “trying too hard” louder), favor clear everyday words.
Authenticity trumps trend‑chasing every time.
That doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with language, just be sure your audience is in on the joke.
If it’s met with silence or raised eyebrows, it’s probably time to retire that phrase.
3. Grumbling about “kids these days”
A quick way to lose a Gen‑Z audience is to launch into why their music, work ethic, or dating norms signal society’s demise.
Even gentle ribbing can seem like a blanket dismissal of their reality.
Swap condemnation for curiosity.
Ask what draws them to that artist or why they prefer voice notes to calls.
Questions open doors; complaints close them.
Remember, they didn’t invent the world—they just inherited it.
And often, they’re doing their best to navigate systems we helped build.
4. Dishing out lectures disguised as advice
Many of us earned our gray hairs the hard way, and yes, experience is priceless.
But a monologue on “what you should do” often registers as condescension.
A smarter move?
Offer your story, then invite their take:
“Here’s what helped me when I chose a career. How does that line up with what you’re thinking?”
That slight tweak shifts the energy from teacher–pupil to collaborator–collaborator.
You’ll find they’re far more receptive when they feel included rather than instructed.
Nobody wants to be talked at—they want to be talked with.
5. One‑upping every anecdote
Younger people share a travel misadventure; we respond with a tale twice as epic.
They mention a tough week; we counter with “You think that’s bad…”.
I’ve mentioned this behavior before but it bears repeating: conversational scoring systems create losers.
A simple “Tell me more” beats any toppers you can muster.
Listening isn’t passive; it’s generous participation.
Resist the urge to compete.
Instead, honor their story by letting it breathe on its own.
6. Flashing credentials like a VIP pass
Decades of career triumphs once commanded respect.
These days, younger colleagues value what you can contribute now, not a résumé recap.
Sure, context can help: “Back when I led the audit team, we…”
But if the plaque wall becomes the topic, eyes glaze over.
I’m no know‑it‑all, but I’ve learned to translate former glories into present‑tense relevance: Here’s a shortcut that saved us time—want to try it?
Practical beats boastful every time.
Your wisdom is welcome—but it needs to show up in service of them, not just to celebrate you.
7. Giving a running commentary on aches, pains, and prescriptions
Reality check: joints get creaky.
Still, turning every casual chat into a medical bulletin douses momentum faster than a power outage.
Save health updates for the inner circle or keep them brief.
Then pivot to something energizing—an upcoming trip, a book that moved you, or a question about their latest project.
Over at Mind Tools, they’ve done the digging and found that active listening starts with paying attention, showing you’re listening, giving feedback, deferring judgment, and responding appropriately—all steps that are tough to pull off when negativity hogs the mic.
Of course, sharing honestly is part of connection, but balance it out.
Nobody wants every conversation to feel like a pharmacy queue.
8. Talking without actually listening
Nothing makes someone under thirty reach for invisible earbuds faster than constant interruptions or the “uh‑huh, anyway” pivot.
The fastest Wi‑Fi on earth can’t download respect if we’re not sending it.
Practice those Mind Tools steps: stay present, mirror back key points, ask open questions.
Silence between replies may feel awkward, yet it signals you’re digesting their words rather than rehearsing your next line.
A small personal experiment: last week I met two former students for coffee.
I set a private rule—no interrupting until they invited my view.
Their animated faces told me all I needed to know; they felt heard, and the advice they eventually asked for landed far better.
You don’t need to fill every silence—sometimes, presence is more powerful than performance.
They’ll come to you when they’re ready.
Putting it into practice
Here are a few quick ways to embed these habits before your next cross‑generational chat:
- Lead with the nugget. State your main point in the first two sentences.
- Swap “but” for “what do you think?” whenever you sense yourself gearing up to contradict.
- Count credentials. If you’ve mentioned your award, degree, or tenure once, that’s plenty.
- Track airtime. Aim for a 50/50 share; use questions to restore balance if you’re running long.
- Cut the medical monologue. Save it for your GP, not your grandniece.
Final thoughts
Pick one habit from the list—just one—and focus on upgrading it in your next conversation with someone younger.
Small tweaks reap outsized rewards when the goal is genuine connection.
And if you catch me rambling about knee surgery for the third time, feel free to give me the same nudge.
We’re all works in progress, and that’s what keeps the dialogue (and the neurons) alive.
Let’s be the kind of listeners we wish we’d had at 25.
