When I first stepped away from my office job, I thought retirement would be this golden period of endless freedom. No more deadlines, no more meetings, no more commutes. Just me, my time, and whatever I wanted to do with it.
Boy, was I wrong.
Those first few months? They were rough. Really rough.
I’d wake up without any clear purpose, spend hours wandering around the house, and by evening, I’d feel like I’d accomplished absolutely nothing. The structure that had defined my days for decades was gone, and I felt completely adrift.
Turns out, I wasn’t alone in this struggle. As noted by the folks at HelpGuide, “The loss of identity, routine, and goals can impact your sense of self-worth, leave you feeling rudderless, or even lead to depression”.
But here’s the thing about feeling lost—it forces you to find your way. And after some trial and error (okay, a lot of trial and error), I discovered five habits that completely transformed my retirement experience.
They didn’t just help me fill time; they helped me rediscover what it means to feel truly alive. Maybe they’ll help you to.
1. Volunteering
This one happened almost by accident. I was walking Lottie through town one morning when I noticed how many organizations seemed to be asking for help—the library, the food bank, the community center.
I gave it a shot and something about giving back just clicked.
The research backs up what I felt almost immediately. Experts have found that older adults who participated in volunteer work reported significantly better self-rated health than those who didn’t volunteer. They also experienced noticeably lower levels of depression and isolation.
Volunteering gave me something I desperately needed: a sense of being useful again. Whether you’re helping at a food bank, mentoring young people, or assisting at community events, you’re reminded that you still have value to offer the world. Your experience matters. Your time matters.
The key is finding something that genuinely interests you. Don’t just volunteer anywhere—find a cause that makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning.
2. Learning something completely new
Remember how exciting it was to learn when you were younger? That feeling of your brain stretching, of suddenly understanding something that had been a mystery? Well, retirement is the perfect time to rediscover that sensation.
For me, it was writing. I’d always been decent at putting words together for work reports, but creative writing? That was uncharted territory. I started with simple journal entries, then moved on to longer pieces, and eventually found myself crafting articles like this one.
The beauty of learning something new in retirement is that there’s no pressure. You’re not doing it for a grade or a promotion or to impress anyone. You’re doing it purely for the joy of growth.
Pick something you’ve always been curious about. Maybe it’s photography, gardening, cooking, or even a new language. The specific skill doesn’t matter as much as the act of challenging yourself to grow.
3. Committing to daily movement, even when I didn’t feel like it
I’ll be honest: I was never much of a fitness enthusiast during my working years. The gym felt like another obligation, another thing on my endless to-do list.
But retirement gave me the gift of time, and I decided to use some of it to take better care of myself. I started small—just walks around the neighborhood with my dog. Then longer walks. Then some light stretching. Nothing dramatic, just consistent movement.
Linda P. Fried, dean of Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health, once said “Exercise is the closest thing we’ve found to a magic pill for combating the effects of aging”. I can vouch for this. Those daily walks and light workouts didn’t just improve my physical health—they became my anchor, my non-negotiable part of each day.
There’s something powerful about moving your body when you’re feeling stuck mentally. It’s like shaking loose all the cobwebs that accumulate when you’re sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.
4. Etablishing new routines that gave my days structure
One of the most disorienting things about retirement is the sudden absence of structure. For decades, your days had a predictable rhythm. Without that framework, time can feel both endless and meaningless.
I had to create my own rhythm. I started waking up at a consistent time, not because I had to, but because I chose to. I designated certain mornings for writing, certain afternoons for volunteering, and certain evenings for reading or spending time with family.
This wasn’t about cramming my schedule full of activities. It was about creating intentional pockets of purpose throughout my week. When you know what’s coming next, you feel more grounded, more in control of your time rather than at its mercy.
5. Reconnecting with old friends and making new ones
Retirement can be surprisingly isolating, especially if most of your social connections were tied to work. Suddenly, you’re not seeing colleagues every day, not grabbing lunch with work friends, not having those casual conversations that used to punctuate your week.
I realized I needed to be more intentional about maintaining and building relationships. I started reaching out to old friends I’d lost touch with. I joined a book club at the library. I struck up conversations with fellow dog walkers in the park.
It’s amazing how much richer life becomes when you’re sharing it with others. Whether it’s debating a novel with your book club or laughing with an old friend about the good old days, these connections remind you that you’re part of something bigger than your own daily routine.
Finding your own path forward
The pastor Harry Emerson Fosdick once said, “Don’t simply retire from something; have something to retire to”. I wish I’d understood this wisdom before I retired, but I’m grateful I discovered it eventually.
These five habits transformed my retirement, but they might not be the right five for you. The key is experimenting until you find what works. Maybe your thing is gardening, or woodworking, or traveling, or spending more time with grandchildren.
The important thing is not to accept feeling lost as permanent. That aimless feeling I experienced in those early months? It wasn’t a character flaw or an inevitable part of aging. It was simply a signal that I needed to be more intentional about creating meaning in this new chapter of my life.
I’ve mentioned this before, but life doesn’t stop being an adventure just because you’ve stopped punching a time clock. If anything, retirement can be when the real adventure begins—if you’re willing to step outside your comfort zone and try new things.
So what are you waiting for? Your next chapter is ready to be written.
