If you recognize these 7 behaviors, you have an unusually strong bond with your adult child

Let’s be honest—parenting doesn’t end when your child turns eighteen. It changes, sure, but it doesn’t end.

And if you’re like many folks I know (myself included), you’ve found that the adult years can actually bring about some of the most meaningful moments between you and your child.

You’re no longer the primary authority figure or the household manager. You’re something better: a trusted confidant, an advisor, maybe even a friend.

That said, it’s not always obvious when the relationship has evolved into something truly special. So how do you know if you share a deep, enduring bond with your grown child?

In my experience, these seven behaviors are often the giveaway.

1. They reach out to you even when they don’t “need” something

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard friends say, “I only hear from my son when his car breaks down,” or “My daughter only calls when she needs a babysitter.”

And look, that’s not always a bad thing—it’s nice to be needed. But when your child calls just to chat? To share a funny story or check how you’re doing? That’s gold.

If your adult child chooses to include you in the everyday moments—the good, the bad, and the boring—it usually means they see you as more than just a parental figure.

They enjoy your company. They value your perspective. That, my friend, is a sign of emotional closeness.

2. They ask for your opinion—but don’t feel like they have to follow it

Years ago, when my daughter was deciding whether to take a new job in another state, she called me to talk it through.

I gave her my thoughts, laid out a few pros and cons, and then—here’s the important part—I let her decide. She ended up taking the job, and it was the right move for her.

A strong parent-adult child bond shows up in these kinds of interactions. They trust your wisdom but feel secure enough to make their own decisions.

That’s mutual respect. They’re not afraid of disappointing you, because they know you love them regardless. And you, in turn, respect their autonomy.

As noted by Brene Brown, “True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.”

If your child shows up as themselves around you, and invites you into their decision-making process without feeling burdened by your expectations—that’s belonging in action.

3. You can disagree—and still feel close

Let’s face it, we’re living in a world full of differing opinions. Politics, parenting, lifestyle choices—you name it. And adult children often grow into ideas that don’t quite match their parents’ worldviews.

But if you can sit across from your child at the dinner table, disagree on something important, and still share a laugh over dessert—that’s something special.

I’ve mentioned this before, but one of the hardest lessons in parenthood is learning to separate love from control.

You don’t have to agree on everything to stay connected. In fact, respectful disagreement can be a sign that both of you feel safe being honest.

4. They share the hard stuff—not just the highlights

You know you’ve built something meaningful when your adult child doesn’t just show up with news of promotions, engagements, or vacations—but also with the stuff that’s messy.

The breakup they didn’t see coming. The panic attack before a big presentation. The creeping self-doubt that’s hard to admit.

That kind of sharing only happens in relationships built on trust and emotional safety.

It means your child sees you not as someone who will lecture or shame, but as someone who listens, understands, and helps them carry the emotional load.

And let’s be real—those late-night phone calls or long walks where they open up about life’s curveballs? Those are the moments that stitch your hearts even tighter together.

5. You can just “be” together in comfortable silence

When my son comes over these days, sometimes we don’t talk much. We’ll sit on the porch, sip our coffee, maybe toss a ball for Lottie (my dog, who thinks she’s still a puppy). And there’s no pressure to entertain or keep conversation flowing.

There’s a certain peace in being with someone and not needing to fill the silence. When you share that kind of comfort with your adult child, it’s often a reflection of emotional security.

No performance. No posturing. Just presence.

When you’ve been there through their setbacks, and your presence brings comfort instead of judgment, that’s when silence can feel like love.

6. They treat you like a whole person—not just “Mom” or “Dad”

One of the more surprising joys of parenting adult children is watching them start to see you more clearly—not just as the person who raised them, but as a human being with your own dreams, flaws, stories, and struggles.

Maybe they ask about your childhood. Maybe they want to hear what your marriage was like in the early years. Maybe they remember to check how you’re doing during tough times.

This is actually one of the things I like best about having grown-up children. We finally get to interact as equals.

There’s a kind of mutual respect that wasn’t always there when they were younger—and understandably so. Back then, I was the one setting curfews and insisting on thank-you notes. Now, we can sit across from each other, each bringing our own life experience to the table.

It’s no longer just me teaching them; I find myself learning from them too.

Whether it’s a new way of thinking, a fresh perspective on something I took for granted, or even just being challenged in the best way—those moments remind me how the parent-child relationship doesn’t have to fade as kids grow up. It can evolve into something even richer.

7. They bring you into their future

One of my friends told me recently that his adult daughter asked him to be involved in her wedding planning—not just to foot the bill, but to actually help shape the day.

Another shared that her son regularly invites her on trips with his family, even when it means more logistics or less “freedom.”

If your adult child intentionally includes you in plans for the future—whether it’s family holidays, decisions about grandkids, or even dreams about relocating to be closer—it’s a clear sign they value your presence not just as part of their past, but as part of their future.

A final thought

I’m no know-it-all, but here’s what I’ve come to believe: a deep bond with your adult child doesn’t come from being perfect—it comes from being present.

You show up. You listen more than you lecture. You give them space to grow—and a soft place to land when life knocks them down.

So, if you’re recognizing a few of these behaviors in your own relationship with your child, take heart. It means you’ve likely done something right. You’ve built a connection that stretches beyond childhood and stands tall in the face of time, change, and even the occasional disagreement.

And if you’re not seeing all of them yet? Don’t worry. These relationships are always evolving. One quiet moment, one honest conversation, one shared laugh at a time.

What small gesture can you make today to strengthen that bond?

Let that be your starting point.