Texting is convenient. It’s quiet, asynchronous, and easy to do while you’re juggling five other things. And yet—some of us still pick up the phone. If you’re one of those people who prefers a call to a paragraph of bubbles, psychology suggests that choice isn’t random. It reflects five distinct qualities in how you think, relate, and solve problems.
Below, I’ll break down those five traits, the psychology behind them, and quick ways to lean into each strength (without becoming that person who calls at inconvenient times).
1) You value emotional depth over convenience
If calling is your default, you likely prize felt connection—the emotional “we’re-in-this-together” quality that voice conveys better than text. Two classic frameworks illuminate why:
- Social Presence Theory says some channels make the other person feel “more there” than others. Hearing a voice boosts warmth, immediacy, and co-presence compared with text, which is lower in social presence. In short: a call makes people feel closer.
- Media Richness Theory ranks communication channels by how well they handle nuanced or ambiguous topics. Richer media (like voice) beat leaner media (like text) when emotions or complex meaning matter. CollabLab
Real-world evidence backs this up. In experiments from the University of Texas at Austin and the University of Chicago, people thought calls would be awkward and preferred typing—until they actually connected. Calls produced stronger feelings of connectedness than text or email, and they weren’t more awkward or more time-consuming.
As MIT psychologist Sherry Turkle puts it, “it’s in conversation… that empathy is born.”
Your edge: You intuit that relationships deepen through tone, pacing, pauses, laughter, and little sighs that never show up in blue or green bubbles.
Try this: When a message feels emotionally loaded (apologies, appreciation, conflict, support), offer: “Mind if I call for two minutes?” You’re signaling care, not neediness.
2) You’re better at reading (and being read) emotionally
Calling also hints that you’re confident operating in high-bandwidth, emotion-rich contexts. Research in American Psychologist found that voice-only communication can increase empathic accuracy—people are better at identifying others’ feelings by listening than by relying on visuals or text alone. That’s because we pack subtle emotional cues (prosody, pitch, cadence) into our voices.
If you prefer calls, you likely appreciate how much these cues matter—and you want your own feelings to land accurately, too.
Your edge: You reduce the “emotional static” that makes text vulnerable to misreads.
Try this: When something’s delicate, leave a short voice note or call, then follow with a one-line text summary (“Quick recap of decisions we just made…”). You get empathic clarity and a written record.
3) You care about clarity and hate avoidable misunderstandings
Texts are efficient—until they aren’t. Sarcasm, humor, or “soft no’s” often fall flat without tone. In five studies, researchers Kruger, Epley, Parker, and Ng found people dramatically overestimate how well they communicate tone and emotion over email; voice dramatically reduces this gap. The team attributes the failure to egocentrism—we assume others “hear” our intended tone even when it isn’t in the message.
Calling is a quick antidote: you can ask a clarifying question, hear a hesitation, or repair a stumble in real time—before it spirals.
Your edge: You prefer accuracy over ambiguity. Rather than letting a vague thread breed assumptions, you close the loop.
Try this: Make calls your go-to for decisions, sensitive topics, or anything that’s spawned three texts and two question marks. Your future self (and the relationship) will thank you.
4) You’re decisive and collaboration-oriented
Another signal in your “call-first” habit is task realism: you match the medium to the job. Media Synchronicity Theory shows that some tasks—especially those requiring convergence (shared understanding, quick decisions)—benefit from synchronous channels like voice. Text shines for conveyance (sharing info for later digestion), but when you need to coordinate, a call wins.
That choice looks like decisiveness from the outside: you cut through back-and-forths, get everyone on the same page, and move.
Your edge: You implicitly “right-size” the medium to the mission—call to converge, text to document.
Try this: When you sense a thread is slipping, propose: “Let’s do a 5-minute call to lock this, then I’ll text the summary.” You’ll halve the cycle time and double the accountability.
5) You prioritize well-being—yours and theirs
Finally, callers often have a care instinct. During the pandemic, a randomized trial in JAMA Psychiatry found that brief, empathy-oriented phone calls to isolated older adults reduced loneliness, depression, and anxiety within four weeks. No therapy credentials—just human voice, structure, and attention.
Even outside clinical settings, experiments show that people feel more bonded after voice contact than after text, and that calls take about the same time as composing and reading emails. In other words, voice feels costly but actually buys a lot of emotional return on investment.
Your edge: You instinctively use the tool that supports belonging—for loved ones, teammates, and clients.
Try this: Build tiny rituals: a Friday “two-minute ring” to a friend, a monthly call to a mentor, a voice check-in after tough meetings. Small, steady voice touchpoints accumulate into big relational capital.
“But texting has its place, right?”
Absolutely. None of these findings say “never text.” Media Richness Theory and Social Presence Theory both argue for fit—rich channels for ambiguity and emotion; lean channels for simple updates.
Use text when you’re confirming logistics, sharing a link, or respecting someone’s context (they’re in meetings; they prefer asynchronous). Use calls when the stakes are human: nuance, closeness, conflict, decisions.
Quick playbook: get the best of both worlds
- Lead with consent. “Can I call you for two?” protects the other person’s time and makes your calls welcome, not intrusive. (It also preserves the very empathy you’re after.)
- Aim short and focused. Promise—and deliver—brevity. The UT Austin work found calls weren’t more time-consuming than email; your discipline ensures yours won’t be either.
- Close the loop in writing. A one-line recap after a call gives both clarity and a searchable record. (Think: “Agreed: ship draft Tuesday, review Friday.”)
- Reserve voice for the human stuff. Apologies, appreciation, tough feedback, big decisions—voice first, then text the summary. This pairs empathic accuracy with accountability.
The bottom line
If you still call, you’re not “old-fashioned.” You’re someone who:
- Values emotional depth (higher social presence; richer medium for nuance).
- Reads and communicates feelings well (voice boosts empathic accuracy).
- Prefers clarity over ambiguity (text tone is frequently misread).
- Moves groups to alignment (synchronous voice accelerates convergence).
- Invests in well-being (empathetic calls measurably reduce loneliness and distress).
And if you’re mostly a texter? No shame. Start with one or two purposeful calls a week—especially where feelings or decisions are at stake. As Turkle reminds us, conversation is where empathy is born—and your voice is the shortest path there.
