Have you ever glanced over during a sad scene and noticed the guy next to you wiping away a tear? Some people still think that a man crying—especially at a film—is “soft.”
Science tells a different story. Research keeps linking movie-tears to skills like empathy, self-awareness, and healthy emotion regulation—the core pieces of what psychologists call emotional intelligence (EQ).
In other words, that tear-streaked face in the glow of the cinema screen may belong to someone who is actually better at handling feelings—both his own and everyone else’s.
Below are eight EQ-driven traits most often found in men who let the waterworks flow when the soundtrack swells. If a few of them sound like you, take it as a quiet compliment from psychology.
1. They feel other people’s feelings—hard
When the dog dies or the lovers miss their train, these men don’t just understand the characters’ pain—they feel it in their gut.
Studies on narrative “transportation” show that the deeper you’re pulled into a story, the stronger your empathic response and the higher you score on standard EQ tests.
That’s why researchers like neuro-economist Paul Zak have found bigger empathy surges (measured through oxytocin release) in viewers who cry than in those who stay dry-eyed.
2. They’re cool with being vulnerable
Crying in public means dropping the emotional armor—something many guys avoid at all costs.
Brené Brown’s landmark vulnerability research shows that people who willingly “risk the tears” build deeper connections and bounce back faster from shame. In men, that willingness is a strong sign of self-confidence rather than weakness.
3. They let feelings move through them, not pile up inside
Emotion-regulation studies by James Gross and Oliver John found that people who express emotions (instead of suppressing them) enjoy better moods, lower stress, and closer relationships.
Shedding a few tears during a movie is a textbook example of healthy expression—and a quick pressure-release valve that leaves these men calmer afterwards.
4. They quietly reject the “tough-guy” script
High-EQ criers don’t buy the old rule that “real men don’t cry.”
Recent work on masculine-norm conformity shows that clinging to stoicism is tied to more stress, depression, and even higher suicide risk.
Men who tear up are, in effect, choosing mental health over macho posturing.
5. They get totally swept up in stories
People who cry at films often report a full-body sense of “being there.” That immersive state—called narrative transportation—intensifies emotional reactions and is associated with curiosity, imagination, and open-mindedness.
In simple terms, they’re great at paying attention and letting art move them.
6. They build secure, caring relationships
Attachment research links easy emotional expression (yes, including tears) to the secure attachment style—the style most predictive of supportive friendships and happy romances.
Men who can cry without shame signal to partners that they’re safe to confide in, which strengthens bonds on and off the screen.
7. They practice self-compassion, not self-criticism
Instead of beating themselves up for “being soft,” these guys respond to their own pain the same way they’d comfort a friend.
Self-compassion researcher Kristin Neff finds that this mindset boosts resilience, lowers anxiety, and even predicts healthier lifestyle choices.
Tears become a moment of kindness rather than embarrassment.
8. They recover from stress faster
Finally, there’s a practical upside: crying may help the body reset.
Analyses of emotional tears show higher protein levels that make them more visible, triggering social support and reducing isolation.
Over time, men who allow that release report greater feelings of connection and lower residual stress—both classic EQ outcomes.
The takeaway
Next time you see (or are) the guy dabbing his eyes during a Pixar climax, remember: those tears are tiny proof points of emotional intelligence at work.
They hint at empathy deep enough to feel another’s story, confidence sturdy enough to drop the mask, and self-care strong enough to let emotions flow instead of fester.
Far from being a sign of weakness, crying during movies is often the badge of a man who’s mastered the art of feeling—and that’s something worth celebrating, popcorn butter and all.
