When someone lends a hand, we know they’re kind. When someone isolates, we sense they’re lonely.
That’s communication 101.
But, things aren’t always that simple. The human psyche is a labyrinth, requiring extra effort to truly understand another’s nature.
However, those who are deeply kind yet often feel alone usually share these 8 traits. Yet, this isn’t simple to see. It’s like proofreading a complex manuscript or editing a substantial research paper – you need to dig deeper.
Let’s explore these traits together in this article.
1) Masters of introspection
Just as the night sky is more than just stars, human beings are more than just their actions.
There’s an entire universe inside each one of us, filled with thoughts, emotions, dreams, and fears. However, not everyone is equipped to journey into this space.
But those who are deeply kind and often feel alone? They’re like seasoned astronauts. They’ve ventured into the depths of their being, exploring every nook and cranny. They’re masters of introspection.
This can sometimes feel like a lonely journey, as they dive deep into their own thoughts and feelings, often going places that others may find too daunting. But this introspection makes them incredibly self-aware and empathetic.
They can pick up on subtleties in others’ feelings and actions that most people miss. So yes, feeling alone might be tough. But it also gives them a unique perspective on the human experience.
2) An uncanny ability to see the good in others
From my own personal journey, I’ve noticed something peculiar about deeply kind, yet often alone people, including myself.
We have this uncanny ability to see the good in others, even when it’s not immediately apparent. This trait often leaves us feeling isolated, as our perspective tends to differ from the majority.
I remember a time when I met a person at a conference who initially came off as abrasive and standoffish. Most people avoided him, but I sensed something more beneath his tough exterior.
I decided to approach him, and we ended up talking about his recent struggles with his startup. It was through this conversation that I saw his tough demeanor was merely a facade he put up to protect himself from being vulnerable.
In that moment, he wasn’t just an abrasive individual – he was a human being dealing with his own fears and anxieties. And suddenly, I wasn’t alone in a crowded room anymore.
It’s moments like these that remind me of the power of kindness—it allows you to connect with people on a deeper level, even when you’re feeling alone.
3) Value authentic connections over superficial relationships
Deeply kind people who often feel alone have a preference for genuine, meaningful interactions. This is likely why they tend to have fewer friendships, but the ones they do have are incredibly strong and fulfilling.
Research has shown that humans can maintain about 150 stable social relationships, a concept known as Dunbar’s Number. However, within this number, there are several layers of intimacy with only about five being in our closest support group.
For these deeply kind individuals, this number is often even smaller. They might not always be surrounded by people, but the few they choose to let in are treated with a level of kindness and understanding that is truly remarkable.
This approach to relationships may sometimes leave them feeling alone in a crowd, but it also allows them to form bonds that are genuine and lasting. It’s quality over quantity in its purest form.
4) Often the go-to person for advice
People who are deeply kind and often feel alone have a knack for listening. They have this ability to make you feel heard, understood, and cared for.
As a result, they often become the go-to person for advice. Friends, family, even acquaintances, seek their counsel during moments of uncertainty or distress.
While this can be rewarding, it can also be draining. It’s a lot like proofreading a complex document – it requires patience, concentration, and emotional energy. Given this, there are times when they need to retreat and recharge, which may lead to periods of solitude.
But despite these challenges, their ability to guide others is a testament to their deep understanding of human emotions.
5) Prioritize the needs of others
If there’s one thing I’ve noticed about people who are deeply kind and often feel alone, it’s their tendency to put others before themselves.
I see it in my own actions, too. If a friend is going through a tough time, I’ll drop everything to be there for them. If a colleague needs help with a project, I’m the first to offer assistance.
This selflessness is like helping someone else’s task on top of yours – you’re willing to invest your time and effort to improve their outcome, often at the expense of your own needs.
But while this trait is admirable, it can also lead to feelings of loneliness. Sometimes in prioritizing others, we forget our own needs and desires. We find ourselves feeling alone even when we’re surrounded by people.
It’s a delicate balance, but one that deeply kind people are navigating every day.
6) Often struggle with setting boundaries
Oddly enough, people who are deeply kind and often feel alone can sometimes struggle with setting boundaries. Their innate desire to help and understand others can make it hard for them to say “no” when they need to.
Think of it like editing a lengthy manuscript. The more you immerse yourself into it, the harder it becomes to step back and take a break, even when you know you need one.
This lack of boundaries can lead to overcommitment and burnout, contributing to feelings of isolation. It’s a paradox – their kindness draws people towards them, yet their difficulty in setting limits can leave them feeling alone.
Navigating this is a challenge, but being aware of it is the first step towards finding balance.
7) Extremely sensitive to their environment
People who are deeply kind and often feel alone are typically highly sensitive to their surroundings.
Like a meticulous editor poring over a document, they notice details that others might overlook – a shift in someone’s tone, a subtle change in body language, or an unspoken tension in the room.
This heightened sensitivity allows them to respond empathetically to others’ needs and emotions. However, it can also be overwhelming. Just as an editor might feel drained after hours of intense focus, these individuals can feel drained by the emotional undercurrents they pick up on.
This can lead them to seek solitude to recharge, contributing to the feeling of being alone.
It’s a complex dynamic, but one that’s integral to their nature.
8) Their kindness is their strength
Above all, it’s important to understand that their kindness is not a weakness – it’s their greatest strength. Despite sometimes feeling alone, these individuals possess an incredible ability to empathize, understand, and comfort others.
Like a professional editor who brings clarity and coherence to a piece of writing, their kindness brings warmth and understanding to the people around them. It’s the core of who they are, and it’s what makes them truly exceptional.
This deep kindness is what allows them to navigate the world with grace and empathy, making a difference in the lives of those they encounter.
In the heart of kindness
If you’ve journeyed with me this far, you’ll likely agree that deeply kind people, despite often feeling alone, bring a unique light into the world.
Kindness isn’t about being taken advantage of or lacking in self-esteem. It’s about understanding your place in the vast tapestry of human experience and recognizing the inherent value in each thread.
Those who embody deep kindness, even in solitude, possess an extraordinary capacity for empathy and understanding. They are not just deeply kind individuals. They are truly exceptional beings whose presence enriches our lives.
As Aesop once said, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” And these individuals live that truth every day – their kindness is their strength, their solitude a space for reflection and growth.
So next time you encounter someone who is deeply kind yet often feels alone, remember the remarkable traits they hold. And perhaps take a moment to appreciate the unique perspective they bring to our shared human experience.
Isn’t that something to reflect on?
