People who become miserable to be around once they hit old age usually adopt these 7 behaviors (without realizing it)

As we age, we all change, and not always for the better. Some folks morph into grumpy old men and women, becoming a burden on their loved ones and a nuisance to be around.

The transformation isn’t intentional, but it can leave us wondering: “Why has grandma or grandpa become so difficult?”

These changes are often linked to specific behaviors that are adopted over time, typically without the person even realizing it.

In this article, we’ll delve into the seven behaviors that people tend to adopt as they age which can make them challenging to be around. Armed with this knowledge, you can better understand and navigate your relationships with the older people in your life.

Or if you’re approaching those golden years yourself, perhaps avoid these pitfalls and remain the delightful person you’ve always been!

So, let’s dive right in and shed some light on these behaviors that can turn even the most pleasant individuals into curmudgeons in their twilight years.

1) Becoming resistant to change

As humans, we’re creatures of habit. We find comfort in routine and predictability. However, with age, this love for routine can morph into a stubborn resistance to change.

Older people often start avoiding new experiences or changes to their routine, preferring to stick to what they know and are comfortable with. It’s a defense mechanism to avoid the uncertainty that change brings.

But this resistance can make them difficult to be around. Family members trying to introduce healthier habits or technologies that can make life easier often face a wall of resistance.

What’s more, this aversion to change can also limit their ability to adapt to new social norms and expectations, leading them to behave in ways that can be perceived as rude or inappropriate.

Remember, it’s not intentional on their part – it’s just a coping mechanism they’ve adopted without realizing it. The key is to approach them with patience and understanding, reinforcing the benefits of change while respecting their comfort zone.

2) Negativity overload

Let me share a personal story with you.

My uncle was known for his infectious laughter and love for life. However, as he grew older, we noticed a change in his demeanor. He began to focus more and more on the negatives, often complaining about the smallest inconveniences.

Negativity can become a common trait in older adults. They start focusing on the downsides of life – health issues, loss of friends, changes in their environment – and tend to overlook the positives. This constant negativity can make them challenging to be around.

In my uncle’s case, we realized that behind his complaints was a deep-seated fear of losing his independence and control over his life. Once we addressed those fears, he started regaining his cheerful spirit.

Their negativity isn’t a personal attack on you or your efforts to help them. It’s their way of dealing with the changes they’re experiencing. If you can empathize with them and address the underlying issues, it can go a long way in improving their outlook on life.

3) Social withdrawal

As people age, they often begin to withdraw from social activities. This could be due to multiple reasons such as health problems, loss of mobility or the death of friends and loved ones.

Interestingly, a study by the University of California, San Francisco found that 43% of adults over 60 reported feeling lonely on a regular basis. Loneliness and social isolation can lead to depression and a decline in health, which can, in turn, make them come off as miserable to be around.

However, their withdrawal from social activities isn’t necessarily because they want to be alone. More often than not, it’s because they’re dealing with issues that make it difficult for them to engage socially.

Encouraging them to participate in social activities and helping them overcome obstacles to socializing can help break this cycle and improve their mood and overall outlook on life.

4) Overly critical

Have you ever noticed how some older folks seem to have an opinion on everything and aren’t shy about sharing it?

They can often come across as overly critical, finding fault with everything from the younger generation’s manners to the state of the world.

This critical behavior can stem from frustration with their own age-related limitations, or simply a longing for the ‘good old days’. It’s not that they’re trying to be mean-spirited or difficult, but their constant criticism can make them tough to be around.

Remember, patience is key. Instead of taking their criticisms to heart, try to engage them in constructive conversations. Discuss their concerns and viewpoints, and you might find that beneath the surface, there’s a wealth of wisdom and experience to be gleaned.

5) Overdependence

My mother was always an independent woman, working as a school teacher and managing the house with aplomb. But as she aged, I noticed a shift. She started relying on me more for even simple tasks like grocery shopping or paying bills.

Overdependence is common in older adults.

As their physical and mental abilities decline, they start relying more on others for their daily tasks. What’s more, the fear of being a burden often prevents them from asking for help, leading to frustration and making them difficult to be around.

If you’re dealing with this situation, it’s important to remember that they are not intentionally trying to be difficult.

They may just be struggling to accept their increasing dependence on others. Offer your support while also encouraging them to maintain their independence wherever possible. It’s a fine balance, but striking it can greatly improve your relationship with them.

6) Difficulty accepting help

It may seem contradictory, but while some older adults become overly dependent, others swing to the opposite extreme.

They find it hard to accept help, even when they desperately need it. This stubborn independence can make them difficult to be around, especially for those trying to offer assistance.

This behavior often stems from a fear of losing their independence and a desire to maintain their dignity. They don’t want to be seen as helpless or a burden to their loved ones.

In such cases, it can be helpful to reassure them that accepting help is not a sign of weakness or dependence. It’s simply a way to make life easier and safer for them. Patience and understanding will go a long way in managing this behavior.

7) Loss of interest

One of the most profound changes you might notice is a loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed. This could range from hobbies, social activities, or even simple day-to-day tasks.

This loss of interest can be a sign of deeper issues such as depression or cognitive decline. It’s crucial to address this behavior as soon as it’s noticed.

It’s not about forcing them back into old routines, but about finding new ways for them to engage with the world. This can help them regain their sense of purpose and joy, improving their quality of life and making them easier to be around.

Final thoughts: Embracing empathy

When we witness changes in our loved ones as they age, it can be challenging to navigate. However, understanding the science behind human behavior can provide valuable insights.

Research in the field of gerontology, the study of aging, reveals that these difficult behaviors often stem from physical, emotional, or cognitive changes that come with age.

The frustration and fear associated with these changes can significantly impact personality and behavior.

While these behaviors can make older adults difficult to be around, they aren’t necessarily intentional. They are often coping mechanisms adopted to deal with the challenges of aging.

The key to managing these changes is empathy and understanding. By acknowledging what they’re going through and providing them with the right support and care, we can help improve their quality of life and ensure our relationship with them remains strong.

So next time you find yourself struggling with a grumpy grandparent or a critical elder, take a moment to see the world from their perspective.

Understanding their fears and challenges can pave the way for better communication, more patience, and ultimately, more love.