I remember a time when a colleague repeatedly declined responsibility for her mistakes at work, claiming she was “too enlightened” to engage in mundane matters.
Those of us on her team felt stuck—confused, even—wondering if we were missing something deeper.
Over time, I realized she was using the language of spirituality to dodge accountability.
If you’ve ever encountered someone who weaponizes their “spiritual journey” in harmful ways, you’re not alone.
This article explores seven toxic behaviors that can arise when people hide behind a spiritual persona.
I’ll also share what I’ve learned firsthand from both my meditation practice and my interactions with people who’ve blurred the lines between true inner work and self-serving acts.
1. Using “divine purpose” to dodge accountability
Some people shield themselves with phrases like “I’m guided by a higher calling,” especially when they’re confronted about harmful choices.
I’ve observed this in friends who keep repeating destructive patterns, then quickly claim that they’re “just following the universe’s plan.”
That mindset halts meaningful growth.
According to research, accountability plays a vital role in building trust within relationships.
When someone consistently avoids taking ownership, tension builds.
No amount of spiritual lingo can replace genuine responsibility.
This doesn’t mean anyone should reject beliefs in a higher purpose.
I’m a firm believer in having a sense of something bigger than myself.
But when that idea becomes a tool to deflect blame, it creates an unhealthy dynamic where personal progress stalls, and relationships become strained.
2. Spiritual bypassing real emotions
“Everything happens for a reason—just let it go.”
I’ve heard that phrase countless times, especially during tough moments in my life.
It’s appealing on the surface because it offers a quick exit from pain.
But it often dismisses genuine emotions that need acknowledgment.
Psychology Today explains how suppressing negative feelings can lead to increased stress and even resentment.
When someone hides behind “positive vibes only,” they’re not addressing the full spectrum of human emotion.
I’ve done it myself—pushed aside anger or sadness in favor of appearing “at peace.”
In reality, true peace didn’t come until I allowed those emotions to surface, learned from them, and then gradually released them.
Pretending you’ve moved on can look spiritual, but deep down, unresolved issues linger and often resurface in other forms.
3. Acting holier-than-thou
There’s a notable difference between living your spiritual principles and using them as a platform to feel superior.
I once attended a retreat where a few participants treated others as if they were less evolved.
They used spiritual practices—like chanting or yoga—as a badge of honor rather than a route to self-awareness.
When someone positions themselves as flawless or deeply enlightened, it creates a wall.
They may believe they’re above everyday human struggles, but that distance erodes genuine empathy.
Being spiritual doesn’t exempt anyone from growth.
Feeling we’ve “made it” can become the very obstacle that holds us back.
When someone acts holier-than-thou, they often miss the lessons that come from being open, humble, and continuously learning.
4. Weaponizing spiritual language to manipulate
I’ve seen individuals use terms like “energy alignment” or “manifestation” as a cover for coercive behavior.
They might guilt someone by saying, “If your energy was aligned, you’d do this,” or “You must not be manifesting hard enough.”
It twists beautiful concepts into tools for control.
Here are a few red flags you might notice if someone is using spiritual language manipulatively:
- They insist that negative consequences in your life are solely your fault because you’re “not being mindful enough.”
- They imply that questioning them is a sign of your spiritual immaturity.
- They suggest you need their guidance to “fix” your vibrational frequency.
When spiritual vocabulary is used to dominate or confuse, the essence of true spiritual practice gets lost.
Healthy communication includes the ability to express concerns openly without fear of shame or spiritual judgment.
Honest discussion and mutual respect do more to raise our collective vibration than a warped sense of spiritual superiority ever could.
5. Misusing positivity to dismiss problems
Have you ever tried to confide in someone, only to hear, “But life is beautiful! Just focus on the good”?
While optimism can be a powerful tool, it becomes toxic when it shoves real issues under the rug.
In my early days of practicing yoga, I made the mistake of denying my struggles because I wanted to embody calm positivity.
I thought I was being strong and enlightened, but looking back, it was pure avoidance.
Eckhart Tolle once wrote, “You cannot find yourself by going into the past. You find yourself by coming into the present.”
Accepting each moment’s reality—painful or joyful—grounds us.
Ignoring a problem by layering it with forced positivity can make the issue harder to resolve later on.
When positivity is used in a genuine way, it acknowledges difficulties while still holding onto hope.
Forced smiles and dismissive statements only deepen emotional wounds.
The real power of a spiritual path often lies in confronting discomfort so that genuine healing can begin.
6. Judgment disguised as guidance
“I’m just telling you this for your own good.”
That sentence can be a gateway to harsh criticism delivered under the banner of “help.”
I’ve encountered people who claim their judgments are purely out of spiritual care for others.
In reality, those words can cut deeper than straightforward criticism because they mask hostility in compassion’s clothing.
My husband and I once hosted a small mindfulness gathering where someone kept pointing out everyone’s posture, diet choices, and even the music they played at home.
They insisted it was all “loving feedback.”
But it felt more like a spotlight on every perceived shortfall.
Constructive insights come with respect, kindness, and a willingness to listen.
When advice is drenched in condemnation, it stops being helpful and becomes another form of control.
7. Exploiting vulnerability for personal gain
We’re almost done, but this piece can’t be overlooked.
When someone sets themselves up as a spiritual guru, they often attract individuals seeking guidance in fragile moments.
There’s a sacred responsibility that comes with helping people who are emotionally open.
Some, however, manipulate that vulnerability for money, admiration, or other perks.
I’ve been in circles where leaders pushed expensive courses on followers, hinting that real enlightenment required their proprietary method.
People who were desperate to find hope sometimes handed over large sums of money because they believed it was the only pathway to a more awakened life.
I’ve chosen a minimalist lifestyle partly because I value simplicity and authenticity.
Watching others capitalize on someone’s raw emotional state feels deeply wrong.
Spirituality should empower individuals, not burden them with unnecessary debt or dependency.
A truly ethical teacher or mentor encourages people to trust their own inner wisdom and seeks fair, transparent exchanges.
Final thoughts
These seven behaviors don’t represent everyone on a spiritual path.
Plenty of people genuinely strive to grow, heal, and spread compassion.
But when spirituality becomes a smokescreen for toxic habits, it’s important to recognize what’s happening and set healthy boundaries.
I used to hide my own fears and insecurities behind a spiritual veil.
Looking back, that delay in confronting reality only pushed me further from genuine peace.
Self-awareness and personal responsibility have helped me reconnect with what really matters—authentic relationships, a mindful marriage, and consistent self-reflection.
The real journey involves acknowledging our flaws and learning from them.
When we embrace the process with honesty, we move closer to living a life that aligns with true spiritual depth, not just the outward show of it.
If you’ve encountered these toxic traits or recognized them in yourself, know that change is possible.
Choosing to take responsibility, admit mistakes, and face emotions head-on can transform spiritual pretenses into real, lasting growth.
