Living miles away from your family isn’t easy.
You can’t just pop over for Sunday dinner or drop by for a quick catch up. Instead, you’re forced to navigate life’s ups and downs largely on your own.
According to psychology, those of us in this situation often develop a set of unique coping behaviors. These behaviors help us deal with the distance and keep us connected with our roots.
This isn’t about feeling sorry for ourselves, or craving sympathy. Instead, it’s about acknowledging the challenges, and finding ingenious ways to overcome them.
In this article, we’ll explore the seven unique coping behaviors that people living far from family often develop. And who knows? You might even pick up a few handy tips along the way.
1) Embracing technology
Living far from family can be a challenge, but thank goodness for modern technology.
People living away from their families often lean heavily on tech to maintain those precious connections.
Video calls, group chats, social media updates – these are all lifelines that keep us in the loop with our loved ones’ lives.
It may not be the same as being there in person, but it’s the next best thing. And it’s certainly better than a once-a-week phone call or a letter every other month.
Famous psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “In a person who is open to experience, each stimulus is freely relayed through the nervous system, without being distorted by any process of defensiveness.”
This quote is particularly relevant here as it emphasizes the importance of staying open and connected.
By embracing technology, we’re able to experience our family’s life events almost as if we were there, keeping the lines of communication open and our relationships strong.
And remember – it’s not about replacing face-to-face interaction, but supplementing it with consistent, meaningful communication.
2) Building a supportive network
One thing I’ve learned from living far away from my family is the importance of establishing a strong support network.
You see, when I first moved to the other side of the country, I felt quite isolated. I didn’t have my family around for guidance or comfort, and it was a real struggle.
Then, I started making friends, bonding with colleagues, and getting involved in local activities. Before I knew it, I had built my own “chosen family” – a group of people who I could turn to in times of need.
This coping behavior isn’t unique to me. Many people living far from their families often establish strong connections with friends, colleagues, or people within their local community.
As the famous psychologist Albert Bandura once said, “In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.”
This quote resonates deeply with me. It’s not always about having all the answers – sometimes, just having someone there to listen can make all the difference in the world.
So whether it’s a neighbor who becomes a confidante or a group of friends who become your second family, building a supportive network is a common and valuable coping behavior for those living far from their relatives.
3) Discovering self-reliance
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you had to rely solely on yourself?
Living far from family can thrust you into the deep end of self-reliance. There’s no one to fall back on when things go wrong or lean on when you’ve had a tough day. It’s just you.
And while this might sound scary, it can also be incredibly empowering. You discover strengths you never knew you had. You learn to solve problems, make decisions, and pick yourself up when you stumble.
In this process of discovery, you find a level of independence and self-reliance that remains with you, even when you’re back amongst your family.
Psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety”.
Living away from family often forces us to step forward into growth, to lean into the discomfort and find our inner resilience. It’s not always easy, but the lessons we learn about ourselves are invaluable.
4) Creating new traditions
One of the hardest things about living far from family is missing out on traditions and celebrations.
But instead of letting that get them down, many people adapt by creating their own traditions.
Whether it’s celebrating Thanksgiving with friends or hosting a virtual Christmas gift exchange, these new traditions can bring a sense of familiarity and belonging in a far-away place.
In fact, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that traditions and rituals can help people feel more in control of their lives and reduce feelings of loneliness – critical for those living far away from their families.
By creating and embracing new traditions, you’re not only filling your life with enjoyable activities but also nurturing your emotional well-being. It’s a win-win situation.
5) Prioritizing self-care
When you’re far from family, taking care of yourself becomes more important than ever.
I remember when I first moved away, I found myself falling into unhealthy habits – late nights, poor diet, skipping gym sessions. It took a toll on my physical and mental health.
But with time, I learned that prioritizing self-care isn’t just about being physically fit. It’s about maintaining a healthy mental and emotional state, too.
This means eating well, exercising regularly, practicing mindfulness, and ensuring I get enough rest.
As the renowned psychologist Sigmund Freud once said, “One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”
This quote resonates with me because it emphasizes that self-care isn’t always easy, but it’s crucial for our overall well-being.
Many people living far from their families often learn this through personal experience and come to recognize the importance of prioritizing self-care in their daily lives.
6) Leveraging solitude
This might sound counterintuitive, but living far from family can actually help you appreciate solitude.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about feeling lonely or isolated. Rather, it’s about learning to enjoy your own company and finding comfort in being alone.
When you’re surrounded by family, it’s easy to lose yourself in the hustle and bustle of family life.
But when you’re on your own, you get the chance to explore your own interests, reflect on your experiences, and grow as an individual.
As the famous psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
In this context, one of these ‘personalities’ can be you and your solitude. When we learn to leverage our solitude rather than fear it, we create a positive reaction that can lead to personal transformation.
So although it may seem counterintuitive, solitude can be an unexpected gift when living far from family.
7) Valuing connections
Living far from family often amplifies the value of our connections. You learn to appreciate the time you spend with loved ones and cherish those moments.
As psychologist William James once said, “We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.”
This quote beautifully encapsulates how, despite physical distance, our bonds with our families remain strong and deeply rooted.
So, even while living miles apart, we learn to value and nurture these connections, keeping our loved ones close in our hearts.
Final reflections
Living far from family certainly comes with its own set of challenges.
But as we’ve explored, it also leads to the development of unique coping behaviors.
From leveraging technology to stay connected and building a supportive network, to discovering self-reliance and creating new traditions, these behaviors help navigate the distance.
We learn to value self-care, appreciate solitude, and above all, understand the immense value of our connections.
So while we may be physically distant from our families, these coping behaviors keep us emotionally close.
They allow us to create a rich tapestry of experiences and relationships that extend beyond geographical boundaries.
In the end, living far from family can be a journey of personal growth and resilience, marked by deep connections and profound self-discovery.
