We’ve all met that person who speaks with relaxed confidence.
Nothing flashy, no verbal gymnastics—just clear, thoughtful language that lands.
Whenever I catch myself reaching for filler words or tired clichés, I remember a panel discussion I moderated last year.
The guest who earned the most nods and follow-up questions used shorter sentences than anyone else in the room.
What she didn’t say mattered as much as what she did.
Today I’m sharing nine everyday phrases that quietly chip away at credibility—and what you can try instead.
These insights draw on recent research in psychology and linguistics, a decade of writing professionally, and plenty of stumbles I’ve made along the way.
1. To be honest
The moment we tell someone we’re about to be honest, we hint that our default might be something else.
Corpus-based studies on hedging show that prefacing statements with honesty markers lowers the perceived certainty of the message.
A cleaner approach is to drop the disclaimer and share the thought directly.
Respect for the listener starts with trusting them to handle candor without a warning label.
2. No offense, but…
Every time someone says “no offense,” what follows is usually offensive—or at the very least, unnecessary.
I used to think this phrase was a way to ease into difficult feedback. But what it really does is create distance.
It signals to the other person that I expect them to get hurt and that I’m not prepared to take responsibility for that.
That kind of language doesn’t open doors for meaningful conversation. It shuts them.
Now, if I feel the urge to say “no offense,” I take it as a cue to pause and ask myself if what I’m about to say is truly helpful—or just my ego trying to prove a point.
3. I’m just saying
When someone ends a sentence with “I’m just saying,” the real message is often, “I know this might not land well.”
Listeners interpret it as back-pedaling, which undermines authority.
A mentor once challenged me to replace that tag with one clarifying question: “What do you think?”
Dialogue beats defensiveness every time.
4. Actually…
Used sparingly, “actually” can clarify facts.
But sprinkle it at the start of every correction and you signal a need to sound smarter than the other person.
Frontiers in Psychology notes that habitual interrupters—often marked by corrective openers like “Actually”—score lower on warmth and conversational competence ratings.
A gentle “I may be mistaken, but…” invites collaboration without condescension.
5. Like, um, you know
Filler words aren’t evil; they give our brains a millisecond to catch up.
The trouble starts when they crowd out meaning.
Forbes reported earlier this year that excessive fillers decreased perceptions of leadership credibility by more than 20% in simulated board presentations.
On busy days, I curb the habit with a short mindfulness drill:
- Exhale completely.
- Notice the pause before the next inhale.
- Allow that silent beat to exist in speech as well.
Silence feels awkward at first, yet it often reads as poise.
6. Just kidding
Humor builds bridges.
Yet disclaimers like “just kidding” after a sharp remark can create whiplash.
An analysis of teasing sequences found that the phrase often fails to erase the original sting and may even amplify it by spotlighting the intent.
If the joke might wound, I try asking myself, “Would this feel funny if roles were reversed?”
When the answer is no, I let the punchline go.
7. Synergize (and its corporate cousins)
Buzzwords promise sophistication but rarely deliver clarity.
When colleagues hear jargon, they must decode before they can decide whether they agree.
Over time, that extra mental load breeds impatience.
As Brené Brown once noted, “Clarity is kindness.”
Plain verbs—“work together,” “combine,” “solve”—keep focus on ideas rather than vocabulary contests.
8. At the end of the day
This phrase tries to signal a bottom line yet often precedes a vague summary.
When I catch the urge, I pause and replace it with the actual takeaway in one concise sentence.
Curiously, the meeting tends to wrap up sooner.
9. You always / You never
Absolute language corners the listener and kills productive dialogue.
Mindfulness practice taught me to notice the surge of emotion that tempts these words out.
Labeling a single behavior—“Yesterday we missed the deadline”—keeps the conversation anchored in facts, not character judgments.
As Thich Nhat Hanh reminded us, “Words can travel thousands of miles. They may destroy or they may heal.”
Final thoughts
We’re almost done, but this piece can’t be overlooked: the smartest-sounding communicators aren’t chasing polish.
They’re chasing presence.
They pause.
They respect the listener’s time and intelligence by pruning needless qualifiers.
Pick one phrase from this list that shows up in your daily speech and experiment with removing it for a week.
Notice what fills the space—often, it’s genuine connection.
