Mastering the art of small talk isn’t just about filling awkward silences. It’s about creating connections, building relationships and steering conversations in positive directions.
When you’re skilled in the art of small talk, you have an ability to put others at ease, and guide a conversation without dominating it.
Great conversationalists have a knack for making others feel valued and heard. They use certain phrases that not only keep the conversation flowing, but also establish rapport.
In this article, I’ll share 10 phrases that great conversationalists always use to master the art of small talk.
Let’s get started.
1) How’s your day been?
Small talk often begins with simple, open-ended questions. And nothing quite beats the classic, “How’s your day been?”
This question is a staple of conversation because it’s casual, yet shows genuine interest. It opens up a wide range of potential responses, allowing the other person to choose what they’d like to share about their day.
The beauty of this question lies in its simplicity and flexibility. It’s non-intrusive yet invites the other person to share personal details if they wish.
Great conversationalists use this phrase often because it sets a friendly tone and kickstarts the conversation. It also subtly communicates that you care about their wellbeing, making them more comfortable and open to conversation.
The art of small talk isn’t about dazzling others with your wit or knowledge. It’s about creating an environment where others feel comfortable enough to express themselves. And asking about their day is a simple yet effective way to do that.
2) That reminds me of the time when…
One of the best ways to keep a conversation going is by sharing relatable personal anecdotes. By saying, “That reminds me of the time when…”, you not only add more substance to the conversation, but also create a sense of connection and familiarity.
For instance, I remember being at a networking event and someone was talking about their recent skiing trip. I responded with, “That reminds me of the time when I went skiing for the first time and ended up spending more time in the snow than on my skis.”
This response did two things. One, it lightened the mood with a touch of humor. And two, it opened up a new thread of conversation around funny travel stories.
People love listening to personal stories as they are unique and add a human touch to conversations. It makes you more relatable and approachable, turning small talk into enjoyable conversations.
3) Did you know…
Incorporating interesting yet relevant snippets of information can add flavor to your conversations. Starting a sentence with “Did you know…” not only grabs attention but also piques curiosity.
For example, if the conversation is hovering around coffee, you could say, “Did you know that coffee was originally chewed rather than drunk? The ancient tribes in Africa used to grind the coffee cherries together with animal fat into a ball of energy. Quite different from our lattes and espressos, right?”
Sharing such information not only makes the conversation more engaging but also reflects your knowledge and awareness. It also opens up new avenues for the conversation to progress. Just ensure that what you share is accurate and relevant to keep the conversation authentic and engaging.
4) I’d love to hear more about…
Showing genuine interest in someone else’s life, experiences, or opinions is a cornerstone of great conversation. Expressing your urge to learn more by saying, “I’d love to hear more about…” not only keeps the conversation flowing but also makes the other person feel valued and interesting.
For instance, if someone briefly mentions their passion for photography, you could say, “I’d love to hear more about your photography. Do you have any favorite subjects or styles?”
This phrase encourages the other person to delve deeper into their interests and experiences. It shows that you are genuinely interested in their story, which can make them feel more connected and engaged in the conversation. It’s a simple yet effective tool in the art of small talk.
5) I completely understand where you’re coming from
Empathy is key in any conversation. By saying, “I completely understand where you’re coming from,” you’re showing that you’re actively listening and relating to the other person’s thoughts or feelings.
This phrase works particularly well when someone is sharing a challenge or expressing a viewpoint. It validates their feelings, making them feel heard and appreciated.
For example, if someone is sharing their frustration about a work situation, instead of jumping in with advice, you could first say, “I completely understand where you’re coming from. That sounds really tough.”
Acknowledging someone’s feelings can often be more powerful than giving advice. It creates a sense of trust and understanding, which is crucial in building meaningful connections.
6) Your perspective is really interesting
Appreciation goes a long way in any conversation. Recognizing someone’s unique viewpoint or insight by saying, “Your perspective is really interesting,” not only makes them feel valued, but also encourages them to open up more.
Whether you’re discussing a book, a news event, or their latest hobby, acknowledging the value of their viewpoint builds a deeper connection. It shows that you’re not just passively listening, but actively appreciate their thoughts and opinions.
For example, if someone shares an unconventional approach to solving a problem, you could say, “Your perspective is really interesting, I hadn’t thought about it that way before.”
It’s a heartfelt compliment that can boost their confidence and make them feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts with you. This phrase is a small yet powerful tool in the art of conversation.
7) I’ve always struggled with…
Sharing your own challenges or insecurities can help foster a sense of authenticity and trust in a conversation. Starting with “I’ve always struggled with…” shows that you’re open to sharing your vulnerabilities, which can encourage the other person to do the same.
For instance, if you’re discussing hobbies and someone mentions they love painting, you could say, “I’ve always struggled with painting. I admire your ability to express yourself through art.”
This not only shows your human side but also compliments the other person’s skills or abilities. It makes the conversation more real and relatable, shifting it from mere small talk to a more meaningful interaction.
8) I’m not sure I agree with that
Great conversations aren’t just about agreeing with everything the other person says. Sometimes, respectfully expressing a differing opinion can add depth and interest to a conversation. Starting your sentence with, “I’m not sure I agree with that…” allows you to present an alternative viewpoint without coming off as confrontational.
For example, in a conversation about a popular movie that you didn’t enjoy as much as others, you could say, “I’m not sure I agree with that. I found the plot to be a bit predictable.”
It’s important to voice your disagreement respectfully and provide reasons for your viewpoint. This can stimulate healthy debate and show that you’re engaged and thoughtful, rather than just passively agreeing with everything.
9) That’s a good point, but have you considered…
Expanding on others’ ideas is a great way to keep a conversation lively and engaging. By saying, “That’s a good point, but have you considered…”, you acknowledge their input while adding your own thoughts to the mix.
For instance, if you’re discussing potential solutions for a community issue, you could say, “That’s a good point, but have you considered the impact on the local businesses?”
This respectful approach encourages further discussion and shows that you’re actively thinking about what they’re saying. It promotes a more in-depth conversation, which is the ultimate goal of mastering the art of small talk.
10) Tell me more
The most important aspect of any conversation is the willingness to listen. The phrase “Tell me more” is a powerful tool in small talk, signaling that you’re not only interested in what the other person has to say, but you’re also eager to hear more.
This simple, open-ended invitation gives the other person the floor to express themselves further. It shows that you value their thoughts and contributions to the conversation, reinforcing a sense of connection and respect.
Whether you’re discussing their favorite book, a recent vacation, or their views on a complex issue, “Tell me more” encourages deeper and more meaningful conversations. It’s the cornerstone of being a great conversationalist.
